I think the mods are to be congratulated for letting this thread run !!
Or maybe they are all still ROFL ??
Please keep it going!!!
Just look at the number of views it gets!!
It must be good for the site stats.

An Aussie bloke, a Frenchman and an Italian guy are sitting together at the bar in the departure lounge at Kingsford Smith, waiting for their flight. They begin discussing the art of lovemaking and before long the bragging begins.

"When I give my mistress one hour of gentle touching and extended oral pleasure, she literally rises above the covers in ecstacy when she climaxes" begins the Frenchman, sipping on his glass of wine.

"Ahh, that's very admirable my Gallic friend" replies the Italian after sampling hi Campari & soda, and not to be out done adds "however after making long and passionate romance to my lover she arches her back and rises half a metre off the bed in absolute unbridled pleasure when she reaches orgasm".

The Aussie, who's listening to all this with a faint smirk on his face, knocks back the rest of his schooner of VB and snorts "That's nothin fellas. After I'm done rootin' the missus for a couple of minutes I jump staight out of bed and wipe my dick off on the curtains, and she hits the f****** roof!"

A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was, walking slowly up to the holy site. She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, using a cane and moving very slowly, she approached him for an interview.
"Pardon me, sir, I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. What's your name?
"Morris Feinberg," he replied.
"Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?"
"For about 60 years."
"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"
"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims."
"I pray for all the wars and all the hatred to stop."
"I pray for all our children to grow up safely as responsible adults and to love their fellow man."
"I pray that politicians tell us the truth and put the interests of the people ahead of their own interests."
"How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"
"Like I'm talking to a ****ing wall."

One New Year's Eve Judy stood up at the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. Well, it was kind of embarrassing. The bartender was almost crushed to death.

In QLD there is a story that shows what a great country this is. At a rodeo, we had a horrible accident. There was a fireworks accident that killed a cowboy. After the explosion, all that was left was a cowboy hat and a horse's ass. Damned if today it isn't .....................

Oscar drove his brand new jeep to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman.

Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing.

Five minutes later, Jan came running up to him yelling, "Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new jeep!"

"Dear God! Did you try to stop him?"

"No," she said, "I did better than that! I got the license plate number!"
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A fellow bought a new V8 hemi jeep and was out on an back road for a nice evening drive. The windows were down, the breeze was blowing through his hair and he decided to open her up.

As the needle jumped up to 120kph he suddenly saw a flashing red and blue light behind him. "There ain't no way they can catch a V8 hemi," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 150, 160 170 and finally 190 with the lights still behind him.

"What in hell am I doing?" he thought and pulled over.

The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. "I've had a tough shift and this is my last pull over. I don't feel like more paperwork so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before you can go!"

"Last week my wife ran off with a cop," the man said, "and I was afraid you were trying to give her back!"

"Have a nice night", said the officer