Google turned 12 this year....
So we only have one more year before it's a teenager and won't answer anything!:)

Me and my wife are both enjoying the benefits of me taking Viagra.....
I can have a wank as often as I like and she has somewhere to hang the tea towels!

I took a girl back to my place last night!. As she pulled off my pants she said, "Wow, it's like the 70's".
"Because it's hairy?" I laughed......"No. It looks like you got the same sized dick you were ********ing born with!!..

My wife put a bikini snap from our Summer Holiday as her profile picture on Facebook.
She's just had a friend request from Weight Watchers.

I wonder if any policeman has ever managed to keep a straight face while telling a woman she has the right to remain silent!!..

Recommended Dosage Of Viagra.
New Girlfriend: No Need.
Old Girlfriend: Half Tablet.
Mistress: 1 Tablet.
Wife: 2 Tablets + Blue Film + Whiskey + Will Power + Her Permission!!..

Arthur, or Arty to his mates, was walking through his local supermarket when he spotted a dollar coin on the floor. As he approached to pick it up, two other people also noticed it and made a bee-line for the coin. There followed an almighty fight for the dollar coin, in which Arty strangled both the other two customers before being wrestled to the ground by security.
THE HEADLINES in the paper next morning read "Arty chokes two for a dollar at Aldi's!!..

Beware! There's a dangerous new virus going around.

It's called calories, and it makes your clothes shrink..