Using that term "French friends" very lightly!!!

JFK'S Secretary of State, Dean Rusk, was in France in the early 60's when DeGaulle decided to pull out of NATO. DeGaulle said he wanted all US military out of France as soon as possible.
Rusk responded "Does that include those who are buried here?"
You could have heard a pin drop.


There was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a break, one of the French engineers came back into the room saying 'Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intended to do, bomb them?'
A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly:
'Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply Emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day.
They can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck.
We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?'
You could have heard a pin drop.


A Royal Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the English, U..S. , Canadian, Australian and French Navies.. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of Officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, whereas Europeans learn many languages, the English learn only English.
He then asked, 'Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?'
Without hesitating, the British Admiral replied, 'Maybe it's because the Brit's, Canadians, Aussie's, Kiwi's and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German.'
You could have heard a pin drop.


AND THIS STORY FITS RIGHT IN WITH THE ABOVE...
Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on.
"You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically.
Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously.
"Then you should know enough to have your passport ready."
The Englishman said, 'The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."
"Impossible. You English always have to show your passports on arrival in France !"
The English senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained,
''Well, when I came ashore at Gold Beach on D-Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find a single Frenchmen to show a passport to.."
You could have heard a pin drop.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you are proud to be a British, American, Canadian, Australian or a New Zealander pass this on! If not, delete it.

And who said I can "waffle" a bit....:)...........Lol.......... Keep it going,.yeahhhh.....:cool:.

In Canberra an old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years he had
faithfully served the people of the nation's capital. He motioned for his
nurse to come near.

"Yes, Father?" said the nurse.
"I would really like to see the Prime Minister and the Treasurer before I
die", whispered the priest.

"I'll see what I can do, Father", replied the nurse. The nurse sent the
request to Parliament and waited for a response.

Soon the word arrived; Prime Minister Julia Gillard and Treasurer Wayne Swan
would be delighted to visit the priest.

As they went to the hospital, Julia commented to Wayne, "I don't know why
the old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly help our image and
might even get me re-elected Prime Minister. After all, I'M IN IT TO WIN
IT".

Wayne agreed that it was a good thing. When they arrived at the priest's
room, the priest took Julia's hand in his right hand and Wayne's hand in his
left. There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest's face.

Finally Julia Gillard spoke. "Father, of all the people you could have
chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?"

The old priest slowly replied, "I have always tried to pattern my life after
our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ."
"Amen", said Julia .. "Amen", said Wayne.

The old priest continued, "Jesus died between two lying thieves; I'd like to
do the same."

Actually. I am going to post it on the Patrol forum with the Aussie Jeep Driver,The Kiwi Nissan driver and the South African Toyota driver.

However stoking the fire with one hand on the penis and the other holding a VB.

I'm going out with the Patrol boys next weekend. If I get stuck I hope they don't run with the snatch strap.

A family was driving behind a rubbish truck when a large dildo flies out and hits the windscreen. To hide her embarrassment the mother turns and says to her young kids "my what a big insect", to which her 7 year old says, "I'm surprised it could fly with a dick that size".

Tuff
 

Rastus mate,

that should be...holding a VB in one hand, a pie in the other and stoking the fire with his.....

Chopper sets the standard ;)