Should have bought a kj haha
 

John Clarke, Bryan Dawes skit
[Scene: A car yard. BRYAN is perusing the stock. He is approached by JOHN]



John: ** ** Morning! Looking for a new car?

Bryan: ** ** Nope. New Prime Minister, actually.

John: ** ** You're the third one this morning. Anything in mind?

Bryan: ** ** You know...... nothing fancy, reliable, economical family model. Something to get the country from A to B.

John: ** ** You mean like a Howard?

Bryan: ** ** Yeah...a little Johnny. Nothing flash, does the job. Low maintenance, economical, sensible. Runs for years, no troubles.

John: ** ** So.... you used to have one?

Bryan: ** ** Yeah. About 10 years. Great little model - don't know why I got rid of him -- biggest mistake I've ever made.

John: ** ** What happened?

Bryan: ** ** Traded him in for a Kevin 07

John: ** ** Big mistake.

Bryan: ** ** Lot of people bought it. Good political mileage.

John: ** ** How was the Kevin 07?

Bryan: ** ** Came with a $900 factory rebate - that was good.

John: ** ** Anything else?

Bryan: ** ** Not much. Sounded nice but nothing under the bonnet. It was a lemon.

John: ** ** Didn't stick around for long did it?

Bryan: ** ** Nah - had a factory recall. Shipped overseas and was never seen again.

John: ** ** What was the problem?

Bryan: ** ** Lots. But the final straw was the navigation system. Plug it in and it automatically loses its own way.

John: ** ** Whatcha got now?

Bryan: ** ** It's a Gillard-Brown.

John: ** ** The hybrid?

Bryan: ** ** Yeah. The Eco-drive system - not a good idea. An engine that can't deliver hooked up to a transmission stuck in permanent reverse.

John: ** ** Green paintwork with a red interior. And steering that always lurches to the left for no apparent reason - that's the one?

Bryan: ** ** The Fustercluck model.

John: ** ** The only one they made, Bryan. Not the vehicle of choice for the road to recovery - but did they finish up fixing the navigation system?

Bryan: ** ** Made it worse. Turn it on and it does a press release, heads off in all directions and goes nowhere.

John: ** ** So that's why you're here?

Bryan: ** ** That's right. I'm stuck with a car that's wasteful, expensive, ineffective and past its use by date. I don't suppose you've heard of the "Cash for Clunkers" scheme?

John: ** ** Join the queue brother.
**

Howard - arguably the worst prime minister Australia has ever had..

Jeff Kennett and John Howard had a lot in common, sell off all your profitable money making public enterprises, let private industry jack up prices on electricty, water etc, then say they can't do anything about it.
No matter how bad things get, if you have companies like the SEC, MMBW, Qantas, Telstra etc all it takes is GOOD finacial management to trade out of troubled times. Not sell the whole farm to pay off a simple debt.
If thats good financial managment I'll bare my arse in Bourke st!

Politics is all about maintaining your power base and getting re-elected - running the country efficiently comes way down the list. Why did governments sell off their capital energy assets (gas, electricity) in the 90's? because they tied up a lot of capital and were invisible politically - no-one cared who owned them as long as they worked. Sell them off and use the money for high profile visible projects (roads, hospitals, etc) that would attract votes.

Isn't hindsight grand. Someone voted for these guys (their party actually) to get them elected in the first place. I agree with Pipes that Politics usually is not about good (long vision) government - but you have to give Howard and Costello credit for trying to establish the Future Fund for exactly that purpose; only to have it looted by succesor governments for their own feather-bedding agenda. The mining super tax should be funnelling the money into the Future Fund but it is going to wind up in operating revenue and funding for minority/Green support to keep Labour in power.
Vested self-interest.

Wouldn't it be great if we didn't have political parties! At election time we could vote for the candidate whose ideas we liked best: then when parliament convened all the elected members got together to decide who the ministers would be based purely on their ability to be the best in the job.

Unfortunately human nature will never let it happen.

True.. Will never happen :(