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Old 16-05-2015
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layback40  layback40 is offline
Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
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Lovemaking tips for senior
1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.
2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.
3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)
4. Make sure you put 999 on your speed dial before you begin.
5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember...
6. Use extra poly grip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.
7. Have Tylenol or whatever you use ready in case you actually complete the act...
8. Make all the noise you want... The neighbors are deaf, too.
9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news .... even if its 8PM... !!
10. Don't even think about trying it twice.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer,
'Pick one; I can't do both!'
'OLD' IS WHEN... Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.
'OLD' IS WHEN... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
'OLD' IS WHEN... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.
'OLD' IS WHEN... 'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take a laxative today.
'OLD' IS WHEN.... 'getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot...
'OLD' IS WHEN... An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.
'OLD' IS WHEN... You're not sure if these are facts or jokes.
(Sent in large type so you can read!!..
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