An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time, became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that said: Dr Geezer's clinic. "Get your treatment for $500, if not cured get back $1,000."
Doctor "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000. So he went to Dr Geezer's clinic.
This is what transpired.
Dr Young: "Dr Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth." can you please help me?
Dr Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr Young’s mouth."
Dr Young: ‘Aaargh !! this is petrol!’
Dr Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $500."
Dr Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.
Dr Young: "I have lost my memory; I cannot remember anything."
Dr Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."
Dr Young: "Oh no you don't, that is petrol!"
Dr Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be $500."
Dr Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.
Dr Young: "My eyesight has become weak; I can hardly see!”
Dr Geezer: "Hmm, I don't have any medicine for that so here's your $1000 back."
Dr Young: "But this is only $500..."
Dr Geezer: "Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500."
Moral of story: Just because you're Young doesn't mean that you can outsmart an old Geezer!
Great Truths That Little Children Have Learned:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a ripe tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.
Great Truths That Adults Have Learned:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.
Great Truths About Growing Old
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.