I MIGHT WAKE UP EARLY
AND GO RUNNING, I ALSO MIGHT
WAKE UP AND WIN THE LOTTERY…
THE ODD`S ARE ABOUT THE SAME.
I was standing at the bar at the RSL one night, minding my own business.
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This quite hefty, very plain looking woman came up behind me, grabbed my arse and said, "You are very cute. Do you have a phone number?"
I said, "Yes, do you have a pen?"
She said, "Yes, I’ve got a pen".
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I said, "Then you better get back into it before the farmer misses you."
Cost me 6 stitches...but,
When you're over seventy five...............who cares?
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I went to the chemist and told the girl behind the counter, "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."
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Lady assistant: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"
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I said "No... She's pretty good looking....."
When you're over seventy five.............who cares?
***********
I was talking to a young woman in the RSL last night.
She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right."
I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there, instead of you."
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Cost me a fat lip, but...
When you're over seventy five..............who cares?
**********
I was telling a woman in the Club about my ability to guess what day a woman was born, just by feeling her breasts.
"Really" she said, "Go on then... Try."
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After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"
I said, "Yesterday."
It cost me a kick in the nuts, but...
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When you're over seventy five...............who cares?
I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today.
The attendant shouted at me so loudly, through a loud hailer - I nearly fell in.
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When you're over seventy five...............who cares?
I went to our RSL last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table.
I said, "Good legs."
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The woman giggled and said, "Do you really think so?"
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
Cost me 6 more stitches, but...
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When you're over seventy five..............who cares?
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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