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Old 13-10-2017
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layback40  layback40 is online now
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
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Some Collective Nouns:

A stagger of drunks

A tedium of accountants

A stitch of doctors

A whine of losers

A jerk of politicians

A conflagration of arsonists

A scoop of journalists

A conjunction of grammarians

A clutch of mechanics

A build-up of skyscrapers

A mountain of holes

A body of everybody

A quantity of numbers

My 90-year-old dad was giving a talk at our local library about his World War II experiences. During the question-and-answer period, he was asked, “How did you know the war was over?” He replied, “When they stopped shooting at me.”

“Poor Old fool,” thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. So, he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he’d humour the old man and asked, “So how many have you caught today?”

The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.”

While volunteering in a soup kitchen, I hit it off with a very attractive single man. It was a relief, since my mother and I always laughed because the men to whom I was drawn were inevitably married. So, optimistic about my chances, I asked my new friend what he did for a living. He replied, “I’m a priest.”

After I-messaging back and forth with my wife, I jokingly commanded Siri to pass along this message: “You need to get back to work now; you have a husband to support.” Here’s what Siri sent: “You need to get back to work now; you have a has-been to support.”
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