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RULES THAT WOMEN SHOULD FOLLOW....

1. If you think you might be fat, you are. Don't ask us. Just get your ass in a gym.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up, put the bloody thing down.

3. Don't cut your hair. Ever. It causes arguments when we comment on it.

4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present.......again!

5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

6. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.

7. Anyone can buy condoms.

8. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat.

9.Dogs are better than ANY cats.

10.Sunday = Football/Rugby/Any other sport. Let it be.

11. Shopping is not a sport.

12. Anything you wear is fine. Really.

13. You have enough clothes.

14. You have too many shoes.

15. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to respond to it.

16.Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot and your Dad probably is too.

17. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.

18. Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.