[layback40]

There is a lot pilots have to take into account when flying safely across the sky:



Every take off is optional. Every landing is mandatory.
If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.
Flying isn’t dangerous. Crashing is what’s dangerous.
It’s always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.
The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you’re on fire.
The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.
When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.
Learn from the mistakes of others. You won’t live long enough to make all of them yourself.
Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.
Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take-offs you’ve made.
Keep looking around. There’s always something you’ve missed.
Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It’s the law. And it’s not subject to repeal.
There are old pilots and there are bold pilots, There are however, no old, bold pilots.


The moon landings were fake… but the director was such a perfectionist that he insisted they be shot on location.

Before my surgery, the anaesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle… It was an ether/oar situation!

I have a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare. But he chewed it a lot. Now I can’t tell if it’s 2B or not 2B.

Astronomers got tired of watching the moon go round the Earth for 24 hours a day. So, they decided to call it a day.

I’m taking care of the procrastination problem. Just wait and see.

If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock. That’s humerus.

Nurse came in and said Doc, there’s a main in the waiting room who thinks he’s invisible, what should I tell him? The doctor said tell him can’t see him today.

I re-labelled all of the jars in the spice rack. I’m not in trouble yet but the thyme is cumin.