[layback40]

A flashy showgirl married a 97 year-old retired well-to-do General, largely because she held the belief that the old codger wouldn't even survive the wedding night.

While her new husband was in the bathroom, the woman slipped into a black see-through nightie and struck her most seductive pose upon the bed.

When the old man finally emerged, she was startled to see that he was stark naked except for earplugs, a clothes peg on his nose and a condom.

"Why are you wearing those?" she asked in amazement.

"Because if there's anything I just can't stand, "he grumbled, "it's the sound of a woman screaming and the smell of burning rubber."