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Old 15-06-2018
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Duty is what one expects from others, it is not what one does oneself.

- Oscar Wilde

A somewhat inexperienced musician who joined an orchestra on a cruise ship was having a terrible time keeping time with the rest of the band. Finally, the band leader said, "Look, either you learn to keep time, or I'll throw you overboard....so it's up to you, sync or swim."

A local business placed the following ad: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."

The next day, a dog trotted into the office and up to the receptionist. Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he leads him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager.

The manager said "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type." The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair.

The manager was stunned, but then told the dog "the sign says you have to be good with a computer." The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to enter and execute a perfect program.

By this time the manager was totally dumb-founded! He looked at the dog and said "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I still can't give you the job."

The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said "yes, but the sign also says that you have to be bilingual."

The dog looked at the manager and said, "Meow!"



An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any recent interest in his paintings which happened to be on display.

"I have good news and bad news," the gallery owner replied. " The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death."

"What did you say?" questioned the artist.

"When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings."

"That's wonderful!" the artist exclaimed.

"What's the bad news?"

"He said he was your doctor...."
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