[layback40]

What's got 4 legs and an arm?

A happy Rottweiler!!



Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.



When George W. Bush was asked if he knew what Roe vs Wade was, he replied it was the decision that George Washington needed to make when he planned for his army to cross the Delaware.



A successful businessman became disenchanted with the stress of the fast life in the big city and decides to chuck it all. He takes his savings and purchases a large ranch in the middle of nowhere, Montana.

After a couple of months of enjoying the solitude he hears the drumming of hoof beats outside his cabin. Grabbing his rifle, he challenges the man riding up on the horse.

"Hold it friend," the man says, "I'm your neighbour. I have a ranch about 6 miles from here, and I want to invite you to a welcome party I'm throwing for you next Saturday. There's going to be music, dancin', drinkin' huggin', kissin' and fightin'.... It's gonna be a great time!"

Not wanting to be un-neighbourly the new rancher lowers the rifle and asks, "How should I dress?"

"Aw, don't matter," replied the neighbour. "Only gonna be the two of us."



A sergeant in a parachute regiment took part in several night time exercises. Once, he was seated next to a Lieutenant fresh from Jump School. He was quiet and looked a bit pale, so the sergeant struck up a conversation. "Scared, Lieutenant?" he asked.

"No, just a bit apprehensive." the lieutenant replied.

"What's the difference?" asked the sergeant

The lieutenant answered, "The difference is I'm scared with a university education."