[layback40]

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> * * Law of Mechanical Repair
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>
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> - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch
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> and you'll have to pee.
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> ** Law of Gravity
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> Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible
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> place in the universe.
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> ** Law of Probability
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> The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity
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> of your act.
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> ** Law of Random Numbers
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> - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always
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> answers.
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> ** Variation Law
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> If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always
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> move faster than the one you are in now.
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> ** Law of the Bath
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> When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.
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> ** Law of Close Encounters
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> The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you
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> are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
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> ** Law of the Result
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> When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!
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> ** Law of Biomechanics
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> The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
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> ** Law of the Theatres & Sports Arenas

> At any event, the people whose
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> seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who
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> will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and
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> who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The
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> folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs
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> or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle
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> people also are very surly folk.
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> ** The Coffee Law
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> - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to
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> do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
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> ** Murphy's Law of Lockers
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> - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent
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> lockers.
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> ** Law of Physical Surfaces
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> The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor
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> are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
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> ** Law of Logical Argument
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> Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about.
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> ** Law of Physical Appearance
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> If the clothes fit, they're ugly.