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The banana bread I was making was in the oven when my 16-year-old came into the kitchen where the family had gathered.

"That bread smells about done don't you think Mum?" he asked.

I told him I had set the timer and it still had five minutes.

A little later he repeated his suggestion. "Mum I really think that loaf is done. Maybe you should check it."

Always quick to come to my defence my 13-year-old son said "Mum's been burning that banana bread for 20 years now. I think she knows when to take it out."



Q: Why do cows wear bells? A: Because their horns don't work.

Q: What kind of dinosaur is never late? A: A pronto-saurus.

Q: When do cannibals leave the table? A: When everyone's eaten.

Q: What's a King's favourite clothing? A: A reign coat.

Q: Where do mermaids see movies? A: At the dive-in

Q: What falls but never hurts itself? A: Snow.



A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven, I will ask Jonah.'

The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'

The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him.'



A Junior school teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'

The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'

Looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'



Recently, I was diagnosed with : A.A.A.D.D . - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests: I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the table that I collected from the letter box earlier. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the rubbish bin under the table, and notice that it is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the rubbish first. But then I think, since I'm going to be near the post-box when I take out the rubbish anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my cheque book off the table, and see that there is only 1 cheque left. My extra cheques are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the cup of tea I'd been drinking. I'm going to look for my cheques, but first I need to push the tea aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. The tea is getting cold, and I decide to put it in the microwave to warm it up. As I head toward the kitchen with the tea, a vase of flowers on the bench catches my eye - they need water. I put the tea on the bench and discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the worktop, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote control. Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realise that tonight when we watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote control, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the front room where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers. I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote control back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day: the car isn't washed, the bills aren't paid, there is a cold cup of tea sitting on the bench, the flowers don't have clean water, - there is still only 1 cheque in my cheque book, I can't find the remote control, I can't find my glasses and I don't remember what I did with the car keys. Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day, and I'm really tired. I realise this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.