[layback40]

The defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense's closing statement, the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all," the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. "Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom." He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly.

A minute passed. Nothing happened.

Finally, the lawyer said, "Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I, therefore, put it to you that you have a reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed, and I insist that you return a verdict of not guilty."

The jury retired to deliberate. A few minutes later, the jury returned and pronounced a verdict of guilty.

"But how?" inquired the lawyer. "You must have had some doubt. I saw all of you stare at the door."

The jury foreman replied: "Yes, we did - but your client didn't!"

KIDS ADVICE TO KIDS

"Never trust a dog to watch your food." Patrick, age 10

"When your dad is mad and asks you, 'Do I look stupid?' don't answer." Hannah, 9

"Never tell your mom her diet's not working." Michael, 14

"When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair". Taylia, 10

"Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a Tic-Tac." Andrew, 9

"You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk." Armir, 9

"If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse." Naomi, 15

"Textas are not good to use as lipstick." Lauren, 9

"A recent economic study revealed that the best time to buy anything is last year."

"I'm not a fatalist. But even if I were, what could I do about it?"