[layback40]

A man was flying from Melbourne to Perth. Unexpectedly, the plane was diverted to Adelaide along the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft the plane would re-board in 50 minutes. Everybody got off the plane except one lady who was blind. The man had noticed her as he walked by and could tell the lady was blind because her guide dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of her throughout the entire flight.

He could also tell she had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached her, and calling her by name, said, "Kathy, we are in Adelaide for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?"

The blind lady replied, "No thanks, but maybe my dog would like to stretch his legs."

Picture this: All the people in the gate area came to a complete standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a guide dog! The pilot was even wearing sunglasses. People scattered.

They not only tried to change planes, they were trying to change airlines!



"Every year, (American) English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country. Here are last year's winners...

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like socks in a dryer without Cling Free.

She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was a room-temperature sausage.

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.



Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.

The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

A young lady came home and told her mother that her boyfriend had proposed but she had turned him down because she found out he was an atheist, and didn't believe in heaven or hell. "Marry him anyway, dear," the mother said. "Between the two of us, we'll show him just how wrong he is."
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. David Bassinette.
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. Sacha Guitry.
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want? Sigmund Freud.
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. Anonymous. .