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23-05-2017
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,849 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,613
Liked 6,581 Times in 4,357 Posts
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A lesbian goes to the doctors for a smear test.
The Doctor says "That's the cleanest vagina I've ever seen"!
The lesbian says "Thanks, I have a woman in twice a week."!..
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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24-05-2017
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,849 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,613
Liked 6,581 Times in 4,357 Posts
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Did anyone here about the cockeyed javelin thrower at the Olympics?
He never won fuck all but he kept the crowd on their feet !!.
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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24-05-2017
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,849 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,613
Liked 6,581 Times in 4,357 Posts
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Dave comes home from work early one day.
He walks in to the kitchen and sees his wife on her knees, scrubbing the floor. He watches the rhythmic movements of her bum stuck high in the air for a few seconds, before he can't take it any more.
Without a word, he lifts up her skirt, slides in and gives her the pounding of her life until they both orgasm loudly. Then he zips himself up, gets to his feet and kicks her up the arse as hard as he can.
"What the fuck was that for?!" she screams at him.
"That was for not turning round to see who it was." he replies.  ..
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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24-05-2017
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,849 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,613
Liked 6,581 Times in 4,357 Posts
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Three couples go camping and one couple forgets their tent.
So they decide the men will sleep in one tent, and the women will sleep in the other.
In the middle of the night, John says, "Bob, look at this fucking hard-on I’ve got.
It must be all the fresh air. I’m going over to see my wife."
Bob says, "You want me to come with you?"
John says, "Why the fuck would I want you to come with me?"
Bob says, "Because that’s my dick that your holding."
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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25-05-2017
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,849 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,613
Liked 6,581 Times in 4,357 Posts
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I'm opening a gym today that teaches people power walking and door knocking.
I'm calling it, 'Jehovah's Fitness'.
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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26-05-2017
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,849 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,613
Liked 6,581 Times in 4,357 Posts
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I have a stepladder. I never knew my real ladder.
My friend told me he had the body of a Greek god. I had to explain to him that Buddha is not Greek.
Oh my gosh, I just saw Johnny fall off a 20 meter ladder.
...Lucky he was only on the first step at the time.
How to cheer up in easy steps:
Whisper “Beep Boob” to yourself.
Alternatively; plug your nose, and try and say “Sneep Snop”
Or, try and say “Bubbles” in the angriest voice you can.
Repeat until not sad.
A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman – “Which book has helped you most in your life?”
The woman replied “My husband’s cheque book”
Some people try to turn back their "odometers." Not me. I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've travelled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
If poison goes past its used by date does it get more toxic or less toxic?
Q: What is a cat's favourite breakfast? A: Mice krispies
Q: What is a frog's favourite year? A: Leap Year
Q: What kind of dog has a bark but no bite? A: A Dogwood!
Q: What is a pirate's favourite fish? A: A swordfish!
Q: What is a horse's favourite sport? A: Stable tennis!
Q: Why do pandas like old movies? A: Because they are black and white.
Q: How many sheep do you need to make a sweater? A: I don’t know. I didn’t think sheep could knit!
Q: What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex? A: A dino-sore!
Q: What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car? A: Squash!
Q: What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf? A: Decalfinated!
Q: What do you call a mad elephant? A: An earthquake.
Q: What is a shark’s favourite sandwich? A: Peanut butter and jellyfish.
Q: Where are sharks from? A: Finland.
Q: What is King Arthur’s favourite fish? A: A swordfish
Q: Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket? A: He made an illegal ewe turn.
Q: What does an octopus wear when it gets cold? A: A coat of arms.
Q: What kind of dog always runs a fever? A: A hot dog!
Q: What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school? A: Bison!
Q: What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass. A: A cow on a skateboard.
Q: Why don’t bears wear shoes? A: What’s the use, they’d still have bear feet!
Q: What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths? A: A shampoodle!
Q: What does a calf become after its 1 year old? A: 2 years old.
Q: Why does a giraffe have such a long neck? A: Because his feet stink!
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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27-05-2017
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,849 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,613
Liked 6,581 Times in 4,357 Posts
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An old man gets on a bus and there's no seats so he leans on his walking stick.
The bus brakes and he slips .
A young boy says mister if you had a rubber on the end of your stick that wouldnt have happpend .
The old man replies if your daddy had taken the same advice i'd have a fucking seat!
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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