 |
|
02-07-2017
|
 |
Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,859 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,618
Liked 6,584 Times in 4,359 Posts
|
|
I bought some of those flavoured condoms the other day.
I said to my wife, "Lets play a game, I put one on and you try to guess what flavour it is."
She closed her eyes went under the blanket and said, "cheese and onion flavour."
I said, "For fuck sake, give me a chance to put one on!"
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
|
02-07-2017
|
|
Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,859 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,618
Liked 6,584 Times in 4,359 Posts
|
|
My neighbour just walked past with two dogs. I said to him, "I didn't know you had any dogs?" He replied, "They're not my dogs, they're my sisters." I said, "Wow, your sisters are really fucking ugly."😜
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
|
02-07-2017
|
|
Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,859 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,618
Liked 6,584 Times in 4,359 Posts
|
|
My two-year-old son fell asleep on my lap last night.
So I carried him upstairs, laid him down and then went back downstairs to relax for half an hour.
Everybody on the bus must've thought I was a right bastard
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
|
03-07-2017
|
|
Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,859 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,618
Liked 6,584 Times in 4,359 Posts
|
|
Wow... Only in Victoria 😱
You will not believe what just happened... I pulled in to Frankston to get gas, when I got out I noticed 2 police watching a woman who was smoking while pumping gas... I saw her & thought, "Is this lady stupid or crazy?!! With the police right there, too?!"🤦🏼**♀️
But anyway, as I was paying inside, I heard screaming... I looked & the woman's arm was on fire! She was swinging her arm & running around going crazy! I ran outside & the police had put her on the ground & were putting the fire out with their coffees!! 😳 Then they put handcuffs on her & threw her in the police car... I was thinking "What kind of person smokes near a gas pump?!"
But being nosey 👀 I asked the police what they were arresting her for... The police looked me square in the eyes & said...
"FOR WAVING A FIREARM IN PUBLIC!"
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
|
03-07-2017
|
|
Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,859 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,618
Liked 6,584 Times in 4,359 Posts
|
|
I went to the shop on my bike to buy some vodka
When I got there I thought what if I fall off my bike and break the bottle so I drank all the bottle which turned out right because I fell off my bike several times going home
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
|
03-07-2017
|
|
Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,859 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,618
Liked 6,584 Times in 4,359 Posts
|
|
|
The waitress noticed me struggling to open the mini cornflake packet in the breakfast buffet.
"Just slide your finger between the flaps", she suggested.
That finished badly..... On bail till my court appearance.😜
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
|
03-07-2017
|
|
Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,859 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,618
Liked 6,584 Times in 4,359 Posts
|
|
I got the bus back to the depot and the manager came shouting for me,
"What the fuck has happened? " he yelled, "there's fag ends, a couple of joints, used condoms, semen on the seats, vodka and beer bottles rolling all over the place, and vomit all over the bus. "
"Yeah, I know," I said. "I fucking hate school runs!!.. 🤣
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is On
|
|
|
|
All times are GMT +10. The time now is 10:22 AM.
|
|
|
|
Advertisements
|
|
|
