How tuff are Aussie blokes?

[layback40]

It's the AFL Grand Final and a man makes his way to his seat right on the
Wing. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty.

He leans over and asks his neighbour if someone will be sitting there.

"No," says the neighbour. "The seat is empty" This is incredible", said
The man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Grand final and not use it?"
The neighbour says "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed
To come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Grand
Final we haven't been to together since we got married in 1967."

"Oh ... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find
Someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbour to take the seat?"

The man shakes his head "No, they're all at the funeral."

[layback40]

This thread has broken through the 50,000 views mark. Now that is an achievement & its only been going 17 months. One of the most popular threads on AJOR. If they were votes in the fed election, we would have won 2 seats!!
There are about 50 views for every post.
Just goes to show we like a laugh !
All we need is for a few more members to contribute.

[malJohann]

1 x 1 = 1
2 x 2 = 4
3 x 3 = 9
4 x 4 = Jeep
5 x 5 = 25
6 x 6 = 36
7 x 7 = 49
8 x 8 = 64
9 x 9 = 81
10 x 10 = 100

4 x 0 = Land Rover?

[bruggz351]

^^ :d:d:d ^^

[bruggz351]

Originally Posted by layback40

This thread has broken through the 50,000 views mark. Now that is an achievement & its only been going 17 months. One of the most popular threads on AJOR. If they were votes in the fed election, we would have won 2 seats!!
There are about 50 views for every post.
Just goes to show we like a laugh !
All we need is for a few more members to contribute.

Choice...

[layback40]

WHAT PART OF YOUR BODY GOES TO HEAVEN FIRST?

The nun teaching Sunday School was speaking to her class one morning and
she asked the question, "When you die and go to Heaven...which part of
your body goes first?"

Suzy raised her hand and said, "I think it's your hands."

"Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?"

Suzy replied, "Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in
front of you and God just takes your hands first."

"What a wonderful answer!" the nun said.

Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "Sister, I think it's your
feet."

The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face. "Now, Little
Johnny, why do you think it would be your feet?"

Little Johnny said, "Well, I walked into Mummy and Daddy's bedroom the
other night Mummy had her legs straight up in the air and she was
saying, "Oh ! God, I'm coming!".

If Dad hadn't pinned her down, we'd have lost her."

The Nun fainted.

[layback40]

LETTER FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND

It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When this becomes apparant, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

My name is Ron. Let me relate how I handled this situation with my wife, Kay. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Kay to get a full-time job, along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed.
Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work

Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table.
I generally have lunch in the Grill at the golf club, so eating out is not an option for us in the evening. I'm ready for some home-cooked food when I walk through that door. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating but now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner.

I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour, but chaps, we take them for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement.. I tell her to stretch it out over two, or even three days. That way, she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then would help her figure. I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half-finished mowing the lawn. I tried not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I told her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed orange juice, and just relax for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she might as well make one for me too.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Kay. I'm not saying that showing this much patience & consideration is easy. Many men would find it difficult if not impossible. Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older.
However, Chaps, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your ageing wife as a result of reading this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.


Ron died suddenly of a perforated rectum after publishing this letter.
The police report says he was found with his Calloway Driver jammed up his arse with only 6 inches of grip showing. A sledge hammer was laying nearby.
His wife Kay, was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 9 minutes to find her "Not Guilty", accepting her defence that Ron, somehow without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.