How tuff are Aussie blokes?

[layback40]

1968: Long hair
2013 : Longing for hair

1968: KEG
2013: ECG


1968: Acid rock
2013 : Acid reflux


1968: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
2013: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor

1968: Seeds and stems
2013: Roughage


1968: Going to a new, hip joint
2013:Receiving a new hip joint


1968: Rolling Stones
2013: Kidney Stones

1968: Screw the system
2013: Upgrade the system


1968: Passing the drivers' test
2013: Passing the vision test




Just in case you weren't feeling too old today, this will certainly change things.
The people who started university this year were born in 1995.

They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.

Their lifetime has always included AIDS.

Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.

The CD was introduced 6 years before they were born.

They have always had an answering machine

They cannot fathom not having a remote control.


Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.

They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.



They do not care who shot J. R. and have no idea who J. R. even is.

They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.

[LeighP]

Thats true....I've known young people who have no clue how to use a rotary dialer telephone.

[SeaComms]

OK, so I know we have rules about discussing religion and politics, so please guys and gals keep comments to yourself, show it to your family and friends and enjoy Russell Brand's control of the situation.

[layback40]

IRISH DIESEL FITTER


Paddy and Mick were both laid off, so they went to the unemployment office. When asked his occupation, Paddy answered, 'Knicker Stitcher..

I sew da elastic onto ladies' knickers and thongs..'

The clerk looked up Knicker Stitcher on his computer and, finding it classified as unskilled labour, he gave him £80 a week unemployment pay..

Mick was next in and when asked his occupation replied, 'Diesel Fitter.'

Since a diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Mick £160 a week.

When Paddy found out he was furious.. He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay.


The clerk explained, 'Knicker Stitchers are unskilled labour and Diesel Fitters are skilled labour.'

'What skill?' yelled Paddy. 'I sew da elastic on da knickers and thongs, then Mick puts 'em over his head and says: 'Yep, diesel fitter.'

[layback40]

Little Johnnie sees his Daddy's car passing the play-ground and go into the woods.

Curious, he follows the car and sees Daddy and Aunt Jane in a 'Passionate Embrace'.

Johnnie finds this so exciting and can barely contain himself as he runs home and starts to tell his mother excitedly.

"I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt, then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane layed down on the seat, then Daddy.."

At this point, Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnnie, this is such an interesting story. Suppose you save the rest of it for suppertime. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight."

At the dinner table, Mommy asks Johnnie to tell his story, so Johnnie starts his story, describing the car into the woods, the undressing, laying down on the seat, and...

"...then Daddy and Aunt Jane did that same thing Mommy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was in the army."

[layback40]

Experts tell us that the best way to make a perfect cup of tea is to agitate the bag.


So, every morning I shout, 'Two sugars, fat arse!'
(Of course I haven't had much of a sex life for some years now).

[layback40]

Just read a report of a truck hijack on the Bruce Highway near Gympie, the truck was carrying 10 pallets of Viagra. Police are said to be looking for a gang of hardened criminals.