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30-11-2014
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,859 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,618
Liked 6,584 Times in 4,359 Posts
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I saw an ex-girlfriend in town earlier and we had a really nice chat. As we said bye to one another I gave her a hug and she smiled.
"You've changed," she said, "You seem so much more mature now."
I'd love to see her face when she finds the "I suck cock" note I stuck on her back.
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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30-11-2014
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,859 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,618
Liked 6,584 Times in 4,359 Posts
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This guy brings his best mate home, unannounced, for dinner at 6:30, after work.
His wife screams her head off while his friend sits open mouthed and listens to the tirade...
"My bloody hair & make-up are not done, the house is a ********in mess, the dishes aren't done.
Can't you see I'm still in my ********in pajamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight!
Why the ******** did you bring him home unannounced you stupid idiot?"
"Because he's thinking of getting married."
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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30-11-2014
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,859 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,618
Liked 6,584 Times in 4,359 Posts
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Paddy is on a nude beach in Spain. Out of manners and to prevent sunburn, he keeps a hat over his cock. A woman walked past sniggering and says, "if you were a gentleman you'd lift your hat."
Paddy replies, "if you weren't so ********ing ugly it would lift itself!"
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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30-11-2014
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,859 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,618
Liked 6,584 Times in 4,359 Posts
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I shouldn't have driven home from the pub last night...
Especially as I ********ing walked there in the first place.
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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30-11-2014
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,859 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,618
Liked 6,584 Times in 4,359 Posts
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A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of the first exhibits they stopped at was the breeding bulls.
They went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said, "He mated 50 times last year."
They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, "This bull mated 120
times last year. " The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and said, "That's more than twice
a week! You could learn a lot from him."
They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters, "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife, so excited that her elbow nearly broke her husband's rib, said, "That's once a day.You could REALLY learn something from this one."
The husband looked at her and said, "Go over and ask him if it was with the same cow.".....
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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01-12-2014
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,859 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,618
Liked 6,584 Times in 4,359 Posts
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A fat drunk lass stood up on a table in the pub I was in earlier and shouted"IF YOU CAN GUESS MY WEIGHT YOU CAN SHAG ME!". A guy at the back shouted back"ABOUT 93 STONE YOU FAT,UGLY COW!". She replied "that's close enough for me you lucky bastard".........
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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01-12-2014
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,859 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,618
Liked 6,584 Times in 4,359 Posts
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Me: Santa, please give me a unicorn for Christmas.
Santa: Please ask for something realistic!
Me: Okay, please give me a loyal and honest women I can marry.
Santa: What color unicorn did you want?
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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