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15-04-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,863 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,620
Liked 6,588 Times in 4,361 Posts
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A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how you're thinking." Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking her ice cream." Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!"
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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15-04-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,863 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,620
Liked 6,588 Times in 4,361 Posts
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This bloke in the pub said to me,
"******** me, that was a rough old bitch you were with last night, not a patch on the women I normally see you with, what on Earth ever possessed to take her out? "
"I had to, " I replied, "it was our wedding anniversary. "
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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15-04-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,863 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,620
Liked 6,588 Times in 4,361 Posts
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Why does Facebook keep showing me adverts for Christian Dating?
If there's one thing I don't need help with, it's finding girls who won't sleep with me.
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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15-04-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,863 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,620
Liked 6,588 Times in 4,361 Posts
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Some people think they are Champagne in a tall glass....When in actual fact,they're lukewarm piss in a plastic cup!...
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
|
15-04-2015
|
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,863 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,620
Liked 6,588 Times in 4,361 Posts
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My wife keeps dropping hints about a sexy gift she wants.
"It begins with 'D' and ends in 'O' .. and it fits snugly in there", she winked as she pointed suggestively at her crotch.
I said, "Where the f##k am I gonna find a didgeridoo!!..
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
|
15-04-2015
|
|
Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,863 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,620
Liked 6,588 Times in 4,361 Posts
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I said to my wife, "When I die, I'd like to die having sex."
She said, "At least we know it'll be quick."
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
|
15-04-2015
|
|
Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,863 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,620
Liked 6,588 Times in 4,361 Posts
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|
What do you call it when a man talks dirty to a woman? Sexual Harassment.
What do you call it when a woman talks dirty to a man? $3.95 per minute.
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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