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10-08-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,886 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,640
Liked 6,591 Times in 4,361 Posts
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My wife went to an Ann Summers party last night.
Before she went she said to me, "I really want to buy a vibrator".
I said, "Okay you can buy one, but it must be 2 inches smaller than me".
She came back with a dildo that was 5ft 8.
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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10-08-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,886 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,640
Liked 6,591 Times in 4,361 Posts
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A man and his wife were arguing about who was better... males or females... the argument turned into a pissing contest... literally when the female claimed that she could piss higher up a wall than her husband could!
The husband being a man and loving a challenge accepted... so they went behind their garage... where the wife proceed to drop her pants and began to piss against the garage wall. The man broke into hysterics when the best that she could do was only about 8 inches up the wall.
Next the man unzipped his fly... pulled out his "manhood" and just before he started his wife screamed "Wait honey... no hands!"..
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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10-08-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,886 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,640
Liked 6,591 Times in 4,361 Posts
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I saw a TV advert that proudly announced "British women spend 40% more on underwear than they did 10 years ago".
Is that not just because they've got fatter arses now? 
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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10-08-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,886 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,640
Liked 6,591 Times in 4,361 Posts
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A waiter approached our table and asked us if we enjoyed our meal.
"It was absolutely delicious, I ate every last bit!" said my wife.
"And Sir?" said the waiter. "How did you find the pork belly?"
"Oh, about six years ago, we met on holiday."
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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10-08-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,886 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,640
Liked 6,591 Times in 4,361 Posts
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The girlfriend's just had her teeth whitened.
Although, to be honest, most of it landed on her chin.!!!
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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10-08-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,886 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,640
Liked 6,591 Times in 4,361 Posts
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It is never minor surgery when you're the one lying on the table.
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
|
10-08-2015
|
|
Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,886 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,640
Liked 6,591 Times in 4,361 Posts
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My dwarf girlfriend went to work this morning upset with me, because I've been taking the piss out of her size. So I'm going all out to make it up to her tonight.
I've got a good bottle of wine in and bought her the latest dvd box set of her favourite programme. When she gets in from work I'm going to order her favourite takeaway for her tea, then go upstairs and run her a nice hot sink!!..
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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