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13-08-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,887 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,640
Liked 6,591 Times in 4,361 Posts
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It has been scientifically proven that if we drink one litre of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than one kilo of Escherichia Coli Bacteria found in water that contains faeces.
In other words, we are consuming one kilo of shit.
However, we do not run that risk when drinking rum, gin, whiskey, beer, wine or other liquors because alcohol has to go through a distillation process of boiling, filtering and fermentation.
It is my duty to communicate to all of you people who are drinking water, to stop doing so. It has been scientifically proven that it is unhealthy and bad for you.
THEREFORE - It is better to drink alcohol and talk shit ....
than to drink water and be full of it !! 
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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13-08-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,887 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,640
Liked 6,591 Times in 4,361 Posts
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I'm starting to get self-conscious about my body odour. On my last two dates, the woman has sprayed me with perfume before we had sex.
Not sure of the brand but it had a distinct sharp, peppery smell.
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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13-08-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,887 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,640
Liked 6,591 Times in 4,361 Posts
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A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!!..
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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13-08-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,887 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,640
Liked 6,591 Times in 4,361 Posts
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Sex therapists say the most effective way a woman can arouse a man is to lick his ears....
Personally I think it's bollocks!
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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13-08-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,887 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,640
Liked 6,591 Times in 4,361 Posts
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met my girlfriends ex-boyfriend today and, in an attempt to piss me off, he asks "hows the second-hand fanny your pumpin?" I smiled and said "the first 3 inches are a bit slack, but the rest is brand new.
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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13-08-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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|
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,887 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,640
Liked 6,591 Times in 4,361 Posts
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Nursery school teacher says to her class,
"Who can use the word 'Definitely' in a sentence?"
First a little girl says "The sky is definitely blue" Teacher says,
"Sorry, Amy, but the sky can be gray, or orange..."
Second little boy..."Trees are definitely green" "Sorry, but in the
... autumn, the trees are brown."
Little Johnny from the back of the class stands up and asks:
"Does a fart have lumps?"
The teacher looks horrified and says..."Johnny! Of course not!!!"
"OK...then I DEFINITELY shit my pants!!..
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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13-08-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
|
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,887 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,640
Liked 6,591 Times in 4,361 Posts
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|
"You're just like my wife, " I said to the barmaid at the pub.
"Oh yeah? " she replied, "how so? "
I said, "She won't let me f@rk her either.
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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