How tuff are Aussie blokes?

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The majority of 15 year-olds in Western Sydney are decent, law abiding citizens.
It's their kids who cause trouble..

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A real woman is a mans best friend.She will never stand him up& never let him down.She will reassure him whe he feels insecure & comfort him after a bad day.She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could,she will enable him to express deepest emotions & give in to his most intimate desires,she will make him feel confident & sexy,seductive & invincible...No wait....I'm thinking of beer,it's f@rking beer that does that!..

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And at the last supper, Jesus takes the bread, blesses it, and says,
"Take this, all of you, and eat it, for this is my body."
He then proceeds to bless the wine and says,
"Take this, all of you, and drink it, for this is my blood."
Finally, he picks up the milk, but Peter looks at him and says,
"You can f@rk right off!!..

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A young man finds the perfect girl from his small village for marriage.
He asks his father for his blessings, but the father tells him that he was screwing around in his youth, and that the girl he wants to marry is in fact his sister.
The young man devastated but still wanting to get married suggests his next door neighbor's daughter. The father tells him with apologetic tone that she is also his sister.
The young man storms out crying and finds his mother outside. She asks him what's up and he tells her the story. She tells him with her motherly soft voice: "Son, go marry any girl you want, that man is not your father!!..

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I bought a penis-casting kit and made my wife a chocolate dildo version of my cock for her birthday.
When she opened her present, the first thing she asked was, "Where is the other one?"
I said, "What the ******** are you on about?"
She replied, "Don't Bountys come in twos!!..

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I went for a job interview today.
I was asked, "What do you do when things don't go to plan?"
I said, "I'll blame someone else."
Needless to say, I start working for Chelsea next week!!.

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There's a Big difference between a man and a woman saying they went through a Box of tissues watching a Movie last night!..