How tuff are Aussie blokes?

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My wife asked me if I'd ever regretted saying something.
"I do," I replied.
"Well, what was it then?" she asked.

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here's the story of four old retired guys who are walking down a street in Sydney. They turn a corner and see a sign that says, Old Timers Bar - ALL drinks 30 cents

They look at each other and then go in, thinking, this is too good to be true.

The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room:- "Come on in, and let me pour one for you! What'll it be, gentlemen?"

There's a fully stocked bar, so each of the men orders a double whiskey and soda.

In no time the bartender serves up four double scotch and sodas, "That'll be 30 cents each, please." The four guys stare at the bartender for a moment, then at each other. They can't believe their good luck. They pay the 30cents , finish their whiskeys, and order another round.

Again, four excellent double whiskeys are produced, with the bartender again saying, "That's 30 cents each, please." They pay the 30 cents, but their curiosity gets the better of them.

They've each had two double whiskeys, and haven't even spent a $1 yet.

Finally one of them says, "How can you afford to serve magnificent scotches as good as these, for 30 cents a piece?"

"I'm a retired tailor," the bartender says, and I always wanted to own a bar. Last year I hit the Lottery Jackpot for $30 million, and decided to open this place.

Every drink costs 30 cents. Wine, liquor, beer.... its all the same."

"Wow! That's some story!" one of the men says.

As the four of them sip at their scotches, they can't help noticing seven other people at the end of the bar who don't have any drinks in front of them, and haven't ordered anything the whole time they've been there.

Nodding at the seven at the end of the bar, one of the men asks the bartender, "What's with them?"

The bartender says, "They're retired people from Wagga Wagga. They're waiting for Happy Hour when the drinks are half-price!"

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Heard the next door neighbour shagging for what seemed like ages last night screaming moaning banging the head board of the wall. ,,,turns out the old lady next door had fell cracked her head on a unit and was banging her stick on the wall for help ,,,,,,,,,feel a bit guilty about the wank now!!..

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Girl asks her mom "if you swallow **********, is that how you get pregnant?" Mom answers, "No Hun, that's how you pay the rent!!..

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Magistrate: But if you saw the lady driving towards you, why didn't you give her half the road?
Motorist: I was going to, Your Honor, as soon as I could find out which half she wanted!!..

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A mans penis is 3 times the length of his thumb....
most women will have finished reading this while men
will still be checking the size of their thumb!!..

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Two women are standing on the bridge and one says to the other "You know I want to pee off the bridge like men do." So she goes to the side of the bridge and squats over the water and pulls down her pants and says "You see that canoe down there, I'm going to pee on that canoe!" And the other woman says "That's not a canoe, that's your reflection!!..