How tuff are Aussie blokes?

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My mate asked me to do a charity 5 mile run...
I said 'No' He then told me it was for blind and disabled people, I then thought.
I could actually win this

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A woman, after giving birth to six babies, upon seeing her husband gets up off the hospital bed, walks over to him shouting "I told you not to go doggy style!"

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My best mate at school was born with with 14 fingers and 18 toes. He wasn't very good at most subjects but whenever I struggled at maths I could always count on him.

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All these TV & Pop Celebrities opening up their homes to the immigrants and refugees has to be applauded.
Elton John has said he can't wait to fling open his back door and let a few in.

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The Australian Virgin.. A very nice, innocent Australian woman wants to get married, but she is only willing to marry a man if he has never had sex with another woman. After several unsuccessful years of searching, she decides to take out a personal ad. She ends up corresponding with Scotty Greer, who is an average golfer and who has lived his entire life in the Australian Outback and he has no experience with women. They meet and she is very happy with him; she feels that they are perfect for each other. Eventually they end up getting married. On their wedding night, she goes into the bathroom to prepare for the evening. When she returns to the bedroom, she finds her new husband standing in the middle of the room, naked. All the furniture from the room is piled in one corner. "What happened?" she asks. "I've never been with a woman" he says, "But if it's anything like a kangaroo, I'm gonna need all the room I can get!"

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Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered.
Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly Mother.
The first said, "I built a big house for our Mother."
The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver."
The third smiled and said, "I've got you both beat. You remember how Mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can't see very well any more. I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took Elders in the church 12 years to teach him. He's one of a kind. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it."
Soon thereafter, Mom sent out her letters of thanks:
"Milton," she wrote one son, "the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house."
"Gerald," she wrote to another, "I am too old to travel any more. My eyesight isn't what it used to be. I stay most of the time at home, so I rarely use the Mercedes. And the driver is so rude!"
"Dearest Donald," she wrote to her third son, "you have the good sense to know what your Mother likes. The chicken was delicious!"

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A policeman knocked at my door yesterday.
He said, "A few of the neighbours are complaining about the music."
I said, "You're joking? It's only 7pm."
"I don't care if it's 1 in the afternoon," he replied. "One Direction are still shit!