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26-09-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,854 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,616
Liked 6,584 Times in 4,359 Posts
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Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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26-09-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,854 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,616
Liked 6,584 Times in 4,359 Posts
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My mom said to my dad "Why is there a broken condom on the settee?"
My dad said "For f@rk sake love, he's our son.... call him by his proper name!!
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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26-09-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,854 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,616
Liked 6,584 Times in 4,359 Posts
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I was very disappointed today when I found out that a man can get paid $60
just for donating his **********.
It's tragic just to think about all that money I've let slip through my fingers 
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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26-09-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,854 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,616
Liked 6,584 Times in 4,359 Posts
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Beer Prayer
Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk,
(I will be drunk),
At home as it is in the pub.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us.
And lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers.
For ever and ever.
Bar-men
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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26-09-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,854 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,616
Liked 6,584 Times in 4,359 Posts
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The class teacher asks students to name an animal that begins with an “E”. One boy says, “Elephant.”
Then the teacher asks for an animal that begins with a “T”. The same boy says, “Two elephants.”
The teacher sends the boy out of the class for bad behavior. After that she asks for an animal beginning with “M”.
The boy shouts from the other side of the wall: “Maybe an elephant!!..
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
|
26-09-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,854 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,616
Liked 6,584 Times in 4,359 Posts
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We were having some friends over for dinner and my wife was getting nervous.
"When it's time to eat," she said, "do I say 'Dinner is ready' or 'Dinner is served'?"
I said, "If it's anything like your usual cooking, just say 'Dinner is f@rked!!..
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
|
26-09-2015
|
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,854 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,616
Liked 6,584 Times in 4,359 Posts
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You know it's getting cold outside when you trip over dog shit rather than stand in it!
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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