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26-09-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,887 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,640
Liked 6,591 Times in 4,361 Posts
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I had a Muslim woman knock on my door today.
I didn't answer it, I just peered through the letter box and shouted,
"How do you bloody like it"
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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26-09-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,887 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,640
Liked 6,591 Times in 4,361 Posts
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Dr to Lady Patient: Your heart, lungs, pulse & BP are ok.
Now let me see that little pink thing which gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble?
Lady swings into action, removes her panties and spreads her legs......!
Dr: No! No! Put your clothes back on.... Just show me your f@rking tongue!!..
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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27-09-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,887 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,640
Liked 6,591 Times in 4,361 Posts
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I was at Aldi yesterday, this thick f@rkin chav bitch was on the check-out, face like a slapped arse and all the charisma of a jellied eel. I came to pay, I had only bought milk and bread but had no change.
"$1.03 please"
"Sorry this is all I've got," as I handed her a $20 note.
"Haven't you got anything smaller, 'cos it will take all my change, and I don't wanna count out $18.97?" she replied and pulled a stroppy face.
"I've got nothing, if that helps," I replied...she didn't get it so I thought f@rk it, I'll pay by card.
"Shall I pay by card?" I asked.
"Don't do me no favours," she snapped.
I kept my cool and just put my PIN in.
"Cash back?" she asked sarcastically.
I couldn't resist it... "Oh yes, $18.97 please!!.
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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27-09-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,887 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,640
Liked 6,591 Times in 4,361 Posts
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As I ran out of the supermarket this morning,the fat security guard started chasing me.After running around the car park a few times,I finally came to a stop.He grabbed me by the collar and breathlessly said,"Open your jacket." So I unzipped it and said,"I've got nothing mate." "Then why the f@rk did you run?" He asked."Because I thought you could do with the exercise you fat bastard." I replied.
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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27-09-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,887 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,640
Liked 6,591 Times in 4,361 Posts
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|
A teacher goes around her class asking each of the kids what do they need at home.
1st kid says "A computer".
Teacher replies, "That'd be very useful."
2nd kid says "a new lawn mower." and gets a similar response.
Little Johnny pops up and says, "At my house we don't need nuthin."
The teacher asks him to think again carefully as everybody needs something.
Little Johnny replies, "Nope I'm sure! When my sister started dating a
Muslim, I remember Dad saying,
"Well, that's the last f@rking thing we need."
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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27-09-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,887 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,640
Liked 6,591 Times in 4,361 Posts
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Just read a Book Called...A race to the Toilet by Willie Makeit and Betty Don't.
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
|
27-09-2015
|
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,887 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,640
Liked 6,591 Times in 4,361 Posts
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|
If your camping in the summer and the attractive lady in the next tent tells you that because it is so hot, she will be sleeping with her Flaps open is not necessarily an invitation to casual Sex.
I appear in court on Friday!
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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