How tuff are Aussie blokes?

[Hunno]

Originally Posted by layback40

For those who dont like some of the posts.
This is not a joke thread, its name is "How tough are Aussie Blokes (?)" ~ If you are offended then maybe you are answering the question.
Having been in many locations in Australia where what is posted in this thread is quite acceptable, I can only conclude some people lead a very sheltered existence. Please dont try & impose that sort of existence on others.
I just post what people send to me as emails.
I dont normally criticize other peoples posts or other members on this thread & to keep it so successful best others dont either.
If any one doesnt like any of my posts, I suggest that you just put me on ignore. That way you dont have to read them. Its a sort of self imposed censorship.
My posts are not politically correct in any way & some may consider racist. Maybe those who would criticize them are just giving examples of how correct the message in the post is.
Given the number of views of this thread (10s of thousands) in a few months, one or 2, calling me names or expressing disgust, fail to be statistically relevant.
If you dont like the presentation of factually correct information, like the existence of certain organizations then some may question your motives.

I feel rule #1 & 2 fit nicely here!!!!!

[layback40]

A golfer accidentally overturned his cart.
Hearing the crash, a woman who lived on the golf course came out of her house yelled over to him.

"Hey, are you okay?"
"A few cuts and bruises," he said, "but nothing seems broken."

"Come up to the house and let's get some bandages," she said.

"No," he said. "My wife wouldn't like that."

"You're hurt!" she insisted. "Come in!"

She got some antiseptic and bandages and cleaned him up, but he was in obvious pain.
"Do you want a drink?" she asked.

"I'd love one," he said, "but my wife would be
very unhappy."

"Nonsense!" she said, pouring a drink. "You're in obvious pain, and you need something."

As she tended to him he became aroused and she noticed. She began taking off her clothes.

"Wait!" he said. "My wife will be furious!"

"Don't be silly," she said. "You've had a trauma and this will be better than anesthesia."

Afterwards, he began to dress quickly.
"Where are you running off to?" she asked.

"My wife is going to kill me!" he said.

"She'll never know anything happened," said the woman. "Where is she, anyway?"

"Under the golf cart," he said.

[layback40]

An Italian MaMa
Mrs. Ravoli comes to visit her son Anthony for dinner.
He lives with a female roommate, Maria.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Anthony's roommate is.



Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Anthony and his roommate than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, Anthony volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Maria and I are just roommates.''

About a week later, Maria came to Anthony saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver sugar bowl.
You don't suppose she took it, do you?"
"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure."
So he sat down and wrote an email:

Dear MaMa,

I'm not saying that you "did" take the sugar bowl from my house ; I'm not saying that you "did not" take it.
But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Your Loving Son
Anthony .
Several days later, Anthony received a response email from his MaMa which read:
Dear son,

I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Maria, and I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with her.
But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now.

Your Loving MaMa



Moral: Never Bulla Shita you MaMa

[task82]

A mate of mine posted this on Facebook today:



I found it funny as!!

[bruggz351]

ROFLMFAO!!!!!
check out the cows face ... hahahahhaha....

[bruggz351]

: Nurse's


A man with suspected prostate cancer decides he doesn't want ugly and rude Western nurses fiddling around with his bits, so he goes to Thailand where all the nurses are gorgeous and live to serve their men.

Sure enough, at the Thai medical centre, a beautiful nurse asks him to remove his bottom half and lie on his side on the couch, so she can 'inspect' him.

As he hears the snap of latex gloves and the squelch of KY jelly, the nurse warns him: "It's not unusual to get an erection at this point".

"An erection?", the man exclaims. "Nothing was further from my mind!".

"Not you.........me", says the nurse...

[layback40]

Irish Mirror



(I hope this brightens up your day)

After living in the remote countryside of Ireland all his life, an old

Irishman decided it was time to visit Dublin .

In one of the stores, he picks up a mirror and looks into it.

Not ever having seen a mirror before, he remarked at the image

staring back at him.

'How 'bout that! he exclaims, 'Here's a picture of my Fadder.'

He bought the mirror thinking it was a picture of his dad, but on the

way home he remembered his wife didn't like his father, so he hung it in

the shed, and every morning before leaving to go fishing, he would go

there and look at it.

His wife began to get suspicious of his many trips to the shed.

So, one day after her husband left, she went to the shed and found the

mirror.

As she looked into the glass, she fumed, 'So that's the ugly b!tch

he's running around with.'