How tuff are Aussie blokes?

[Dustbowl]

Originally Posted by layback40

30,000 views in under a year!!!
AJOR members do like their jokes !!
If only I could get my head around putting pics in posts

Hahaha you and Bruggz!
Still not sticky

[layback40]

Originally Posted by Dustbowl

Hahaha you and Bruggz!
Still not sticky

Bet its a bit sticky up your way at the moment. More a Mudpuddle than a Dustbowl.

You havent sent any of the rain down here !! We need 50 ~ 100 mm.

[bruggz351]

Originally Posted by Dustbowl

Hahaha you and Bruggz!
Still not sticky

I've been sticky a few times
.

[bruggz351]

THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION
ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME
WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE,
AND THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:

1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you has screwed up my life.

2. I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.

5. I thought that I could love no other
-- that is until I met your brother.

6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's
empty and so is your head.

7. I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.

8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

9. My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

10. My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'

11. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

WHO SAID POETRY IS BORING

[layback40]

A married couple are sleeping when the phone rings at 3 a.m.
The wife picks up the phone and, after a few seconds, replies,
"How am I supposed to know? We're 200 miles inland!" and hangs up.

Her husband rolls over and asks,"Who was that?"

"I don't know, some dumb chick asking if the coast is clear."

[layback40]

This is a little controversial ~ It may get me banned!!!



Bloody Victorians...



It is well known that humour is regional, but this is the first joke that I can say is truly Victorian:

At a national conference of the Australian Hotels Association, the general managers of Cascade Brewery (Tasmania), Tooheys (New South Wales), XXXX (Queensland), CUB (Victoria) and Coopers (South Australia) found themselves sitting at the same table for lunch.

When the waitress asked what they wanted to drink, the GM of Tooheys said without hesitation, "I'll have a Tooheys New."

The head of XXXX Qld. smiled and said, “Make mine a xxxx."

To which the boss of Coopers rejoined, "I'll have a Coopers, the King of Beers."

And the bloke from Cascade asked for "a Cascade, the cleanest draught on the planet."

The General Manager of CUB vic. paused a moment and then placed his order: "I'll have a Diet Coke."

The others looked at him as if he had sprouted a new head.

"Well,” he said with a shrug, “if you p00fters aren't drinking beer, then neither will I."

[layback40]

To commemorate the release of the topless photos of Kate Middleton, Royal Doulton will be releasing a Collector's Edition of two small jugs

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7 wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40

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A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt .................. Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Roche...
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