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17-02-2012
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DetroitDemon
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Casino
Posts: 4,801 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 5,510
Liked 1,325 Times in 717 Posts
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A man went to Harley Street, London, and saw a card advertising for a Gynaecologist's Assistant.
Interested, he went in and asked the clerk for details.
The clerk pulled up the file and read :
"The job entails getting the ladies ready for the Gynaecologist. You have to help the women out of their underwear, lay them down and carefully wash their private regions, then apply shaving foam and gently shave off their pubic hair, then rub in soothing oils so they're ready for the Gynaecologist's examination.
The annual salary is £65,000, and if you're interested you'll have to go to Manchester "
"My God, is that where the job is?" asked the man.
She answered, "No sir, that's where the end of the queue is."
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17-02-2012
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,839 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,611
Liked 6,577 Times in 4,355 Posts
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Grammar: The difference between knowing your sh!t and knowing you're sh!t.
This applies to 4wdriving as well !!!!!!
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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17-02-2012
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,839 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,611
Liked 6,577 Times in 4,355 Posts
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__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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17-02-2012
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DetroitDemon
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Casino
Posts: 4,801 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 5,510
Liked 1,325 Times in 717 Posts
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Quote:
Originally Posted by layback40
Grammar: The difference between knowing your sh!t and knowing you're sh!t.
This applies to 4wdriving as well !!!!!!
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??
??
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18-02-2012
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,839 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,611
Liked 6,577 Times in 4,355 Posts
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Subject: SLEEPING WITH MICK
The guys were on a bike tour. No one wanted to room with Mick, because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.
The first guy slept with Mick and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot.
They said, "Man, what happened to you? He said, "Mick snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."
The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same thing, hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot.
They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful! He said, 'Man, that Mick shakes the roof with his snoring. I watched him all night."
The third night was Bill's turn. He was a tanned, older biker, a man's man.. The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
"Good morning!" he said. They couldn't believe it. They said, "Man, what happened?" He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Mick into bed, patted him on the arse, and kissed him good night on the lips. Mick sat up and watched me all night."
With age comes wisdom!
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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19-02-2012
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,839 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,611
Liked 6,577 Times in 4,355 Posts
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The phone rings and the lady of the house
answers,
"Hello."
"Mrs. Sanders,
please."
"Speaking."
"Mrs. Sanders, this is
Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory.
When your husband's doctor
sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders
arrived as well....
We are now uncertain which one belongs to your
husband.
Frankly, either way the results are not too
good."
"What do you mean?" Mrs. Sanders asks
nervously.
"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for
Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for HIV.
We can't tell
which is which."
"That's dreadful! Can you do the test
again?" questioned Mrs.Sanders.
"Normally we can, but
MEDICARE will only pay for these expensive tests
once."
"Well, what am I supposed to do
now?"
"The MEDICARE Helpdesk recommend that you drop your
husband off somewhere in the middle of town.
If he finds his
way home, don't sleep with him.
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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19-02-2012
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,839 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,611
Liked 6,577 Times in 4,355 Posts
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Same Sex marriage
Norman and Barry got married in California .
They couldn't afford a honeymoon so they go back to Norman's Mom and Dad's house for their first married night together.
In the morning, Johnny, Norman's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his mom if Norman and Barry are up yet. She replies, 'No'.
Johnny asks, 'Do you know what I think?'
His mom replies, 'I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school.'
Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, 'Are Norman and Barry up yet?' She replies, 'No.'
Johnny says, 'Do you know what I think?'
His mom replies, 'Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school '
After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, 'Are Norman and Barry up yet?'
His mom says, 'No.'
He asks, 'Do you know what I think?'
His mom replies, 'OK, now tell me what you think.'
He says: 'Last night Norman came to my room for the Vaseline and I think...I gave him my airplane glue.'
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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