How tuff are Aussie blokes?

[bruggz351]

[bruggz351]

[layback40]

Fantastic News from Centrelink…………………….




LATEST NEWS

نور اگر رفت سايه پيدا نيست نقش ديوار و چشم خيره ما نقش سايه دگر نمي دان نور اگر رفت سايه. ر رفت سايه پيدا نيست نقش ديوار و چشم خيره ما نقش سايه دگر نمي دان نور اگر رفت سايه پيدا نيست نقش ديوار و چشم خيره ما

If I hear anything else, I'll let you know.

[anthonygubbin]

Originally Posted by bruggz351

Four guys have been going to the same fishing trip for many years.

Two days before the group is to leave, Ron's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.
Ron's mates are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.

Two days later the three get to the camping site to find Ron sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire, sitting having a cold beer.

"Shit Ron, how long you been here, and how did you talk your missus into letting you go?"

"Well, I've been here since last night.
Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my living room chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and asked, 'Guess who?" I pulled her hands off, and there she was, wearing a nightie.

She took my hand and pulled me into our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over. Well she's been reading 50 Shades of Grey......

On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie her up and cuff her to the bed, so I did.

And then she said, "Do whatever you want."

So, Here I am!

Love it.

Regards A

[craigperth]

This may be the funniest thing I have read in a long time...




Subject: Fw: Archery, black powder, gasoline and a ten year old Oklahoma kid. Great read.

Oklahoma Kid's first Bow and Arrow set.

Don’t know who wrote this but he has a way with words that makes

one visualize being right there beside him. Good read

Life as a child growing up in Oklahoma...

Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little badass compound

bow beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our

land sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an

arrow. Did you know that a 1955 40 horse Farm all tractor tire

will take 6 rounds before it goes down? Tough “sumbich”.

That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of Hazard fan

that I was, I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up

T-shirt doused in chainsaw gas tied around the end and was

sending flaming arrows all over the place.

One summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large

rotten oak stump in our backyard. I looked over under the

carport and see a shiny brand new can of starting fluid (Ether).

A light bulb went off in my head.

I grabbed the can and set it on the stump. I thought that it

would probably just spray out in a disappointing manner. Lets

face it, to a 10 yr old mouth-breather like myself, (Ether),

really doesn't "sound" flammable.

So, I went back into the house and got a 1 pound can of Pyrodex

(black powder for muzzle loader rifles).

At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up

the can of black powder.

My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit around the (Ether)

can but it all sorta dumped out on me. No biggie, a 1 lb.

pyrodex and 16 oz (Ether) should make a loud pop, kinda like a

firecracker you know?

You know what? Screw that I'm going back in the house for the

other can, so I got a second can of Pyrodex and dumped it too.

Now we're cookin'.

I stepped back about 15 ft and lit the 2 stroke arrow. I drew

the nock to my cheek and took aim. As I released I heard a

clunk as the arrow launched from my bow. In a slow motion time

frame, I turned to see my dad getting out of the truck... OH

SHOOT! He just got home from work.

So help me God it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my

bow to the can. My dad was walking towards me in slow motion

with a WTF look in his eyes.

I turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow

pierce the starting fluid can right at the bottom. Right

through the main pile of Pyrodex and into the can. Oh shoot.

When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet. I don't know

if it was the actual compression wave that threw me back or just

reflex jerk back from 235 fricking decibels of sound. I caught

a half a millisecond glimpse of the violence during the initial

explosion and I will tell you there was dust, grass, and bugs

all hovering 1 ft above the ground as far as I could see.

It was like a little low to the ground layer of dust fog full of

grasshoppers, spiders, and a worm or two.

The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this... THE COTTON

PICKING DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE.

There was a big sweet gum tree out by the gate going into the

pasture. Notice I said "was". That sucker got up and ran off.

So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of my shoes

with my Thundercats T-Shirt shredded, my dad is on the other

side of the carport, having what I can only assume is, a Vietnam

flashback: ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE YOU'RE BRINGIN' EM IN TOO

CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE. DAMN IT CEASE FIRE!!!!!

His hat has blown off and is 30 ft behind him in the driveway.

All windows on the north side of the house are blown out and

there is a slow rolling mushroom cloud about 2000 ft. over our

backyard.

There is a Honda 185 3 wheeler parked on the other side of the

yard and the fenders are drooped down and are now touching the

tires.

I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment. I don't

know - I know I said something. I couldn't hear. I couldn't

hear inside my own head.

I don't think he heard me either... not that it would really

matter. I don't remember much from this point on.

I said something, felt a sharp pain, and then woke up later. I

felt a sharp pain, blacked out, woke later....repeat this

process for an hour or so and you get the idea.

I remember at one point my mom had to give me CPR. and Dad

screaming "Bring him back to life so I can kill him again".

Thanks Mom.

One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump

again.

Mom had been bitching about that thing for years and dad never

did anything about it. I stepped up to the plate and handled

business.

Dad sold his muzzle loader a week or so later. I still have some

sort of bone growth abnormality, either from the blast or the

beating, or both.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into archery.

It's good discipline and will teach them skills they can use

later on in life.

Author Unknown



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[layback40]

Cant understand all the fuss !! I thought we all did things like this when we were kids. ~ Full can of aerostart in the neighbors cement block incinerator always stopped them burning rubbish for good.
A 44 full of ammonium nitrate fertilizer with just the right amount of diesel added, 1/2 a stick of jelly & a very long fuse/detonator. Quickest way to dig a dam. You need to be at least 1/2 a mile away when it goes off so as not to get badly hurt !!

Originally Posted by craigperth

This may be the funniest thing I have read in a long time...




Subject: Fw: Archery, black powder, gasoline and a ten year old Oklahoma kid. Great read.

Oklahoma Kid's first Bow and Arrow set.

Don’t know who wrote this but he has a way with words that makes

one visualize being right there beside him. Good read

Life as a child growing up in Oklahoma...

Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little badass compound

bow beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our

land sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an

arrow. Did you know that a 1955 40 horse Farm all tractor tire

will take 6 rounds before it goes down? Tough “sumbich”.

That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of Hazard fan

that I was, I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up

T-shirt doused in chainsaw gas tied around the end and was

sending flaming arrows all over the place.

One summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large

rotten oak stump in our backyard. I looked over under the

carport and see a shiny brand new can of starting fluid (Ether).

A light bulb went off in my head.

I grabbed the can and set it on the stump. I thought that it

would probably just spray out in a disappointing manner. Lets

face it, to a 10 yr old mouth-breather like myself, (Ether),

really doesn't "sound" flammable.

So, I went back into the house and got a 1 pound can of Pyrodex

(black powder for muzzle loader rifles).

At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up

the can of black powder.

My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit around the (Ether)

can but it all sorta dumped out on me. No biggie, a 1 lb.

pyrodex and 16 oz (Ether) should make a loud pop, kinda like a

firecracker you know?

You know what? Screw that I'm going back in the house for the

other can, so I got a second can of Pyrodex and dumped it too.

Now we're cookin'.

I stepped back about 15 ft and lit the 2 stroke arrow. I drew

the nock to my cheek and took aim. As I released I heard a

clunk as the arrow launched from my bow. In a slow motion time

frame, I turned to see my dad getting out of the truck... OH

SHOOT! He just got home from work.

So help me God it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my

bow to the can. My dad was walking towards me in slow motion

with a WTF look in his eyes.

I turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow

pierce the starting fluid can right at the bottom. Right

through the main pile of Pyrodex and into the can. Oh shoot.

When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet. I don't know

if it was the actual compression wave that threw me back or just

reflex jerk back from 235 fricking decibels of sound. I caught

a half a millisecond glimpse of the violence during the initial

explosion and I will tell you there was dust, grass, and bugs

all hovering 1 ft above the ground as far as I could see.

It was like a little low to the ground layer of dust fog full of

grasshoppers, spiders, and a worm or two.

The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this... THE COTTON

PICKING DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE.

There was a big sweet gum tree out by the gate going into the

pasture. Notice I said "was". That sucker got up and ran off.

So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of my shoes

with my Thundercats T-Shirt shredded, my dad is on the other

side of the carport, having what I can only assume is, a Vietnam

flashback: ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE YOU'RE BRINGIN' EM IN TOO

CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE. DAMN IT CEASE FIRE!!!!!

His hat has blown off and is 30 ft behind him in the driveway.

All windows on the north side of the house are blown out and

there is a slow rolling mushroom cloud about 2000 ft. over our

backyard.

There is a Honda 185 3 wheeler parked on the other side of the

yard and the fenders are drooped down and are now touching the

tires.

I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment. I don't

know - I know I said something. I couldn't hear. I couldn't

hear inside my own head.

I don't think he heard me either... not that it would really

matter. I don't remember much from this point on.

I said something, felt a sharp pain, and then woke up later. I

felt a sharp pain, blacked out, woke later....repeat this

process for an hour or so and you get the idea.

I remember at one point my mom had to give me CPR. and Dad

screaming "Bring him back to life so I can kill him again".

Thanks Mom.

One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump

again.

Mom had been bitching about that thing for years and dad never

did anything about it. I stepped up to the plate and handled

business.

Dad sold his muzzle loader a week or so later. I still have some

sort of bone growth abnormality, either from the blast or the

beating, or both.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into archery.

It's good discipline and will teach them skills they can use

later on in life.

Author Unknown



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[SeaComms]

Got me curious so I just google translated that from Persian? makes about as much sense as a typical Centrelink document too...

If you can not find the light went shadow eyes staring at the wall and we can not wait to don the role of light in the shadows if shadows disappeared. There was not the shadow of a wall and staring eyes, we can not wait to don the role of light shade if there was not the shadow of the wall and stared at us

Originally Posted by layback40

Fantastic News from Centrelink…………………….


LATEST NEWS

نور اگر رفت سايه پيدا نيست نقش ديوار و چشم خيره ما نقش سايه دگر نمي دان نور اگر رفت سايه. ر رفت سايه پيدا نيست نقش ديوار و چشم خيره ما نقش سايه دگر نمي دان نور اگر رفت سايه پيدا نيست نقش ديوار و چشم خيره ما

If I hear anything else, I'll let you know.