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18-07-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,839 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,611
Liked 6,577 Times in 4,355 Posts
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I got chatting to a bird called Miss Stone on a dating website...
"I feel awkward keep calling you Miss Stone." I wrote, "What's your first name?"
"Guess." she replied back.
"Okay," I wrote as I took another glance at her profile picture, "Is it Twenty!!..
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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18-07-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,839 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,611
Liked 6,577 Times in 4,355 Posts
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I was in the park walking the dog when a guy came up to me and said,
"Nice greyhound, fast as well. Have you considered racing him? "
"No not really, " I replied, "I'm far to unfit and out of condition!!..
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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18-07-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,839 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,611
Liked 6,577 Times in 4,355 Posts
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A blonde goes to a restaurant, buys a coffee and sits down to drink it. She looks on the side of her cup and finds a peel off prize. She pulls off the tab and yells, 'I WON! I WON! I WON a motor home, I WON a motor home!'
The waitress runs over and says, "That's impossible. The biggest prize given away was a mini van!"
The not very intelligent young lady replies, "No. I WON A motor home, I WON a motor home!"
By this time the MANAGER makes his way over to the table and says, "You couldn't possibly have won a motor homes because we didn't have that as a prize!"
Again the not very intelligent young lady says, "No, no mistake, I WON a motor home, I WON a motor home!" The not very intelligent young lady hands the prize ticket to the manager and
he reads, "WIN A BAGEL."
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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19-07-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,839 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,611
Liked 6,577 Times in 4,355 Posts
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I brought a race horse called it " my face " I love standing at the finish line listening to all the woman calling out " come on my face "
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
|
19-07-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,839 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,611
Liked 6,577 Times in 4,355 Posts
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|
I slowly got onto my knees, I put it in my mouth, I started sucking, harder & harder,
here it comes I thought to myself, when it finally happened the taste was worse than I could imagine.
I'll never siphon petrol again!!..
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
|
19-07-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,839 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,611
Liked 6,577 Times in 4,355 Posts
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My driving instructor told me to pull over somewhere safe.
Two minutes later he said, "Why haven't you pulled over yet?"
I said, "Because we're still in Logan."
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
|
19-07-2015
|
|
Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,839 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,611
Liked 6,577 Times in 4,355 Posts
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My Mate went to see the Doctor this morning. She told him that he would have to stop wanking.
He asked, "Why?"
She replied, "Because I'm trying to take your pulse."
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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