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  #7624  
Old 11-06-2017
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I'm sick of people posting jokes about how Scousers don't have jobs. Just yesterday I saw four Scouse removal men hard at work over at my neighbours house. Working so hard infact, they were using the window instead of the front door. Running back and forward to speed up the removal. And most efficient of all they were doing this at three in the morning😂
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  #7625  
Old 11-06-2017
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They say thousands of kangaroos die on the road each year in Australia. This doesn't surprise me. I'd be shocked if their arms could even reach the steering wheel..
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  #7626  
Old 12-06-2017
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Just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know!😂😜
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  #7627  
Old 12-06-2017
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Got an e-mail today from a "bored housewife 32, looking for some action!"
So I sent her my ironing, that'll keep her busy!
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  #7628  
Old 12-06-2017
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I came home to find a rooster, a clergyman, and a chimpanzee, watching a porno in my front room.
I didn't know whether to choke the chicken, bash the bishop, or spank the monkey. 🤔😳
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  #7629  
Old 12-06-2017
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A wife was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband's key in the door. "Stay where you are," she said. "He's so drunk he won't even notice you're in bed with me."
Sure enough, the husband lurched into bed none the wiser, but a few minutes later, through a drunken haze, he saw six feet sticking out at the end of the bed.
He turned to his wife: "Hey, there are six feet in this bed. There should only be four. What's going on?"
"Nonsense," said the wife, "You're so drunk you miscounted. Get out of bed and try again. You can see better from over there."
The husband climbed out of bed and counted. "One, two, three, four. Damn, you're right.
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  #7630  
Old 12-06-2017
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A girl and her boyfriend get invited to a fancy dress party, and both of them decide to pick out costumes without telling each other. On the evening of the party, the girl feels Ill and decides not to go to the party, but watched in earnest as her boyfriend dresses up as spiderman, complete with a mask, and leaves for the party.Later on, the girl feels better and decided to go to the party in the end, with her costume on.When she arrives at the party, she sees her boyfriend in the spiderman costume, dancing and flirting with many girls. Annoyed, she goes up to him to test how far he'll go with his flirting.As he wouldn't realise who she was in her costume, she flirted with him, and they ended up having sex. She stormed straight home, furious at her cheating boyfriend.Later, her boyfriend came back to see her lying on the bed, fuming.'And how was your night?' she asked.'well, I didn't really want to go to the party as you didnt go, so I stopped at your dads house. He borrowed my spiderman costume and went to the party and he said he had a great time, even scored!'
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