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09-06-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,809 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,596
Liked 6,565 Times in 4,348 Posts
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After 3 years of living together my girlfriend has decided to leave me
Apparently using her toothbrush was the final straw
How else was I meant to get the dog shit off my shoe!!..
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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09-06-2015
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Full Flexer
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Lapstone, NSW
Posts: 1,015 What Jeep do I drive?: JK
Likes: 1,368
Liked 186 Times in 124 Posts
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__________________
2012 JK, Uneek 4x4 front bar, ATV 2.5" flexy coil lift, Maxxis 762 285/70R17, heavy right foot
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09-06-2015
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Full Flexer
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Lapstone, NSW
Posts: 1,015 What Jeep do I drive?: JK
Likes: 1,368
Liked 186 Times in 124 Posts
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__________________
2012 JK, Uneek 4x4 front bar, ATV 2.5" flexy coil lift, Maxxis 762 285/70R17, heavy right foot
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10-06-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,809 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,596
Liked 6,565 Times in 4,348 Posts
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3 nurses working in a morgue discover a dead man with a hard on.
The 1st nurse says " I cant let that go to waste" and rides him.
The 2nd nurse does the same.
The 3rd nurse hesitates and explains she is on her period, but spurred on by her friends, she does the same.
Then the man sits up and the nurses apologize saying they thought he was dead....
The man replies "I was but after 2 jump starts and a blood transfusion I feel f@rkin great"..
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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10-06-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,809 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,596
Liked 6,565 Times in 4,348 Posts
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Paddy took two stuffed dogs to the Antiques Roadshow
"Ooh", said the TV presenter." This is a very rare set of dogs produced by the
celebrated Johns Brothers - taxidermists who operated in London at the turn of last century.
Do you have any idea what they would fetch if they were in good condition?? "
"Sticks ? " said Paddy!!..
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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10-06-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,809 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,596
Liked 6,565 Times in 4,348 Posts
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So I was at the bar the other day and suddenly, I feel a large slap on my ass.
Turning around, I spot the ugliest woman imaginable; she was large, heavily tattooed, and caked with metric tonnes of makeup.
She said to me, "Hey there, guy. I saw you over there and thought you should call me."
I looked her over once again, disgusted, then said, "Do you have a pen?"
She replied "Of course!"
"Well you'd better get back in it before the farmer realizes that you're gone."
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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10-06-2015
|
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,809 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,596
Liked 6,565 Times in 4,348 Posts
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|
A body-builder was admiring his body in the mirror when he noticed he was sun tanned everywhere but his penis. So, he went to the beach, naked, and buried himself in the sand with only his penis sticking out.
Two elderly ladies walked by and saw this penis sticking out of the sand. One of them moved it around with her cane..
She said to her friend, "There isn't any justice in this world.".
Her friend asked her what she meant..
"When I was 20, I was curious about it. When I was 30, I enjoyed it. When I was 40, I demanded it. When I was 50, I paid for it. When I was 60, I prayed for it. When I was 70, I forgot about it. And now that I'm 80, the damn things are growing wild, and I'm too old to f@rking squat!!.
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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