How tuff are Aussie blokes?

[layback40]

Careful XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX HOTXXXXXXXXXXXXXX



Adults Only Please



The URL below is in the form of power point and requires sound.....

This may be too hot for some of you, but what the heck............give it a try....



http://d21c.com/terri1/caroline.swf

Hey! I really doubt that she's 17 years old as she claims.

[drover]

[layback40]

The Jewish ELBOW

A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is
coming to visit with his wife.

"You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301 .
There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I
will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right.
Get in and with your elbow, push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left.
With your elbow, hit my doorbell."

"Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my
elbow?.......

"What..... You're coming empty handed?"

_______________________________________________

Wise Italian Grandfather

Why Italian Fathers and Grandfathers pass their handguns down through the
family.

An old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, Guido, I
wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated
...38 revolver so you will always remember me."

"But grandpa, I really don't like guns. How about you leave me your Rolex
watch instead?"

"You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna
have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of
bambinos."

"Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with
another man.
"Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'times up'"?
_______________________________________________

Irish blonde...

An attractive blonde from Cork , Ireland , arrived at the casino. She seemed
a little intoxicated and bet twenty thousand dollars in a single roll of the
dice.

She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm
completely nude." with that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the
dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new
clothes!"

As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed. "Yes! Yes!
I won, I won!" She hugged each of the dealers, picked up her winnings and
her clothes and quickly departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded.
Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I
don't know - I thought you were watching."

MORAL OF THE STORY

Not all Irish are drunks, not all blondes are dumb, but all men... are men!
_______________________________________________
Global Facts About Sex

At any given moment:

FACT: 79,000,000 people are having sex - right now.
FACT: 58,000,000 are kissing.
FACT: 37,000,000 are relaxing after having sex.
FACT: 1 old person is reading jokes on AJOR.

You hang in there, sunshine!

[layback40]

http://offtheedgehumorpics.blogspot....l#.UyVjEM7695E

[layback40]

Two paddies were working for the city public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one man digging a hole, the other filling it in again.

An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, "I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting in to your work, but I don't get it - why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?"

The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the lad who plants the trees called in sick.'"

[layback40]

What's the difference between God and Bono?
God doesn't wander around Dublin thinking he's Bono.

[layback40]

Billy stops Paddy in Dublin and asks for the quickest way to Cork.
Paddy says, "Are you on foot or in the car?"
Billy says, "In the car."
Paddy says, "That's the quickest way."