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13-05-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,845 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,613
Liked 6,580 Times in 4,357 Posts
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Went to the doctors this afternoon for a rectal examination and was surprised when the doc said I shouldn't get embarrassed as it was common for a man to experience an erection during the procedure. When I pointed out I didn't have an erection he said .... I wasn't talking about you!
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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13-05-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,845 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,613
Liked 6,580 Times in 4,357 Posts
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How a man withdraws cash from the ATM:
1) Park the car
2) Go to ATM
3) Insert card
4) Enter PIN
5) Take money
6) Drive away
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How a woman withdraws cash from the ATM:
1) Park the car
2) Check makeup
3) Turn off engine
4) Check makeup
5) Go to ATM
6) Hunt for ATM card in the purse
7) Insert card Hit cancel
9) Hunt in purse for chit with PIN written on it
10) Insert card
11) Enter PIN
12) Take cash
13) Go to car
14) Check makeup
15) Start car
16) Stop car
17) Run back 2 ATM
1  Take ATM card
19) Back 2 car
20) Check makeup
21) Start car
22) Check makeup
23) Drive for a mile
24)Release HAND BRAKE
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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13-05-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,845 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,613
Liked 6,580 Times in 4,357 Posts
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Little Johnny was in class when the teacher asked everyone to draw their favourite animal. He put his hand up and said 'Miss, I ain't got a pencil'.
'Ain't?' yelled the teacher, 'there's no such word as ain't, you should say I have not got a pencil. For example, Lisa has not got a pencil, Peter has not got a pencil, Susie has not got a pencil...!'
Little Johnny puts his hand up again and says, 'So miss, who's got all the f##king pencils!!.
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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13-05-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,845 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,613
Liked 6,580 Times in 4,357 Posts
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"How exciting!" smiled my wife, unwrapping her birthday present from me this morning.
"Do you like it?" I asked, as she sat there staring.
"Are you having a ********ing laugh, Dave?" she said, "You've bought me a mannequin?"
"It's just like the one that you pointed to in the high street last week, love!!..
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
|
13-05-2015
|
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,845 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,613
Liked 6,580 Times in 4,357 Posts
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|
Murphy and paddy getting ready to hit the town on a Saturday night,
Murphy combing his hair in mirror when he says to paddy " I'm sure I recognise this guy"
"What guy" paddy replies,
"This guy right in front of me" says Murphy,
Paddy shoves Murphy out of way has a long look then replies" ya daft ********. It's me"
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
|
13-05-2015
|
|
Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,845 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,613
Liked 6,580 Times in 4,357 Posts
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Q: If your wife is shouting at the front door and your dog is barking at the back door, who do you let in first? A: The dog, of course. At least he'll shut up after you let him in!!..
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
|
13-05-2015
|
|
Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,845 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,613
Liked 6,580 Times in 4,357 Posts
|
|
What's the difference between a woman and a washing machine..???......once u drop a load in the washing machine...it won't follow u around..
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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