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03-03-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,812 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,597
Liked 6,565 Times in 4,348 Posts
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Three Aussie blokes working up on an outback mobile phone tower: Mongrel, Coot and Bluey.
As they start their descent, Coot slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly.
As the ambulance takes the body away, Bluey says, 'Hey mate, someone's gotta go and tell Coot's wife..
Mongrel says, 'OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it.'
Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Beer.
Bluey says, 'Where'd you get the grog, Mongrel?'
'Coot's wife gave it to me,' Mongrel replies.
'That's unbelievable, you told the Missus her husband was dead and she gave you a case of beer?'
'Well, not exactly', Mongrel says.
'When she answered the door, I said to her, "you must be Coot's widow."
She said, 'You must be mistaken. I'm not a widow.'
Then I said, 'I'll betcha a case of beer you are.'
Aussies are good at that sensitive stuff.
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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03-03-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,812 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,597
Liked 6,565 Times in 4,348 Posts
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Sheila, the Aussie housewife, got out of the shower and slipped on the
bathroom floor. Instead of falling over forwards or backwards, she did a
splits and suction-cupped herself to the floor. She yelled out for her
husband, "Bruce! Bruce!" Bruce came running in. "Bruce, I've bloody
suctioned myself to the floor," she said. "S'truth," Bruce said, and tried
to pull her up. "You're stuck fast girl. I'll go across the road and get
Cobber (his mate) to help."
They came back and they both tried to pull her up.
"No way, we can't do it," Cobber said, "so let's try Plan B." "Plan B,"
exclaimed Bruce, "what's that?" "I'll go home and get my hammer and chisel
and we'll break the tiles under her," replied Cobber. "Spot on," Bruce said,
"while you're doing that, I'll stay here and play with her nipples. "Play
with her nipples?" Cobber said, "Not exactly a good time for that mate!"
"No," Bruce replied, "but I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide
her into the kitchen where the tiles are less expensive..
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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03-03-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,812 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,597
Liked 6,565 Times in 4,348 Posts
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Friends are just like nickers...Some just crawl up your arse...Some snap under pressure...Some dont have the strength to hold you up...Some get a little twisted...Some are your favourite...Some are holey...Some are cheap and just plain nasty...And some actually do cover your arse when you need them to
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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03-03-2015
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Senior Newbie
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 66 What Jeep do I drive?: JK
Likes: 8
Liked 29 Times in 15 Posts
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... not as tough as a German student throwing a puppy at a Hells Angels Biker meeting and escaping in a bulldozer:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worl...bulldozer.html
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04-03-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,812 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,597
Liked 6,565 Times in 4,348 Posts
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I bumped into a cross-eyed woman today and she shouted ''You need to look where you're going''...... I said ''F##k off,.... you need to go where you're looking..
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
|
04-03-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,812 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,597
Liked 6,565 Times in 4,348 Posts
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|
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
|
04-03-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,812 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,597
Liked 6,565 Times in 4,348 Posts
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One night my wife asked if I would make her moan and groan like never before, I called the bank and cancelled the credit card
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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