How tuff are Aussie blokes?

[layback40]

I’m always frank with my sexual partners.
.
.
Don’t want them knowing my real name!!..

[layback40]

Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter
vacation.
When they get there, the guy goes out to chop some
wood.
When he gets back, he says, "Honey, my hands are freezing!"
She says, "Well put them here between my legs and that will
warm them up."
After lunch he goes back out to chop some more wood and comes
back and says again, "Man! My hands are really freezing!"
She says again, "Well put them here between my legs and warm
them up."
He does, and again that warms him up.
After dinner, he goes out one more time to chop wood for the
night.
When he returns, he again says, "Honey, my hands are
really freezing!"
She looks at him and says, "For crying out loud, don't your
*ears* ever get cold?"

[layback40]

Jack had a blind date with Jill for the prom and, as the evening progressed, he found himself more and more attracted to her.

After some really passionate embracing, he said.

"Tell me, do you object to making love?"

"That is something I have never done before," Jill replied.

"Never made love? You mean you are a virgin?"

Jack was amazed. "No, silly!" she giggled. "I've never objected!"

[layback40]

Girl : "Forgive me father for I
have
sinned."
Priest : "What have you done
my
child?"
Girl : "I called a man a son of
a bitch."
Priest : "Why did you call him
a son of
a bitch?"
Girl : "Because he touched my
hand."
Priest : "Like this?" (as he
touches her
hand)
Girl : "Yes father."
Priest : "That's no reason to
call a man
a son of a bitch."
Girl : "Then he touched my
breast."
Priest : "Like this?" (as he
touched her
breast)
Girl : "Yes father."
Priest : "That's no reason to
call him a
son of a bitch."
Girl : "Then he took off my
clothes,
father."
Priest : "Like this?" (as he
takes off her
clothes)
Girl : "Yes father."
Priest : "That's no reason to
call him a
son of a bitch."
Girl : "Then he stuck his you
know what
into my you know where."
Priest : "Like this?" (as he
stuck his you
know what into her you know
where)
Girl : "YES FATHER, YES
FATHER, YES
FATHER!!!"
(after a few minutes)
Priest : "That's no reason to
call him a
son of a bitch."
Girl : "But father,he had
AIDS!"
Priest : "THAT SON OF A
BITCH!!!"

[layback40]

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office!!
I will track you down.
You have my Word!'..

[layback40]

So Basically if you think about it,
Adam and Eve, were the first People to ever agree to the Terms and Conditions of an Apple Product without Reading Them!!..

[layback40]

I was in the doctors waiting room reading the papers,,,,Terrible news the Beatles splitting up.....