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12-01-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,840 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,611
Liked 6,577 Times in 4,355 Posts
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It's always awkward ending phone calls with loved ones, I always say, "I love you" and they're like, "thank you for choosing Domino's."
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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12-01-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,840 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,611
Liked 6,577 Times in 4,355 Posts
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McDonald's; The only place where they say sorry about the wait, and really mean weight.
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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12-01-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,840 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,611
Liked 6,577 Times in 4,355 Posts
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Just been watching some ladies golf on the TV.
They're useless at driving, but ********ing amazing with an iron.
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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12-01-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,840 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,611
Liked 6,577 Times in 4,355 Posts
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man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store.
The clerks called 9 1 1 when they saw him collapse to the floor.
The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where
he had emergency open heart bypass surgery.
He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns
at the Catholic Hospital he was taken to.
A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clip board loaded
with several forms and a pen. She asked him how he was going
to pay for his treatment.
"Do you have health insurance?" she asked.
He replied in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."
The nun asked, "Do you have money in the bank?"
He replied, "No money in the bank."
"Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments,
asked the irritated nun?
He said, "I only have a spinster sister and she is a nun."
The nun became agitated and announced loudly,
"Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God."
The patient replied, "Perfect."
"Send the bill to my brother-in-law!!..
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
|
12-01-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,840 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,611
Liked 6,577 Times in 4,355 Posts
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|
Teacher - Can anyone tell me the name of Robin Hood’s girlfriend?
Little Paddy raises his hand "Yes Miss, Trudy Glen"
Teacher - 'No Paddy, the most popular answer would be Maid Marion!'
Little Paddy "But Miss, what about the song? Robin Hood, Robin Hood riding Trudy Glen..."
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
|
12-01-2015
|
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,840 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,611
Liked 6,577 Times in 4,355 Posts
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Paddy drags a huge metal box to the Antiques Roadshow in Dublin. "Where did you get this from?" asks the expert. "It's been in my loft for 40 years. Think it's an heirloom" says Paddy. "Do u have insurance?" asks the expert. "No, should I?" asks Paddy. "Yeah," says the expert "It's your ********in water tank."
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
|
13-01-2015
|
|
Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,840 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,611
Liked 6,577 Times in 4,355 Posts
|
|
Little Johnny is passing his parents' bedroom in the middle of the night, in search of a glass of water.
Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peeks in and catches his folks in The Act.
Before dad can even react, little Johnny exclaims "Oh, boy! horsey ride! Daddy, can I ride on your back?"
Daddy, relieved that Johnny's not asking more uncomfortable questions, and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, agrees.
Johnny hops on and daddy starts going to town.
Pretty soon mommy starts moaning and gasping.
Johnny cries out "Hang on tight, Daddy! This is the part where me and the milkman usually get bucked off!"
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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