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02-03-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,842 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,612
Liked 6,578 Times in 4,356 Posts
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A woman was feeling really horny, and wanted her husband to slip her a portion, the trouble was, he didn't feel like it, and just wanted to read... But as he was reading, every so often he would reach over, and rub her fanny. After a while,she said,"If you don't want a shag, will you stop teasing me?" He replied, "I'm just wetting my fingers, so i can turn the page!"
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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02-03-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,842 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,612
Liked 6,578 Times in 4,356 Posts
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Modern Technology
I was visiting my daughter and son-in-law the other night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper.
'This is the 21st century, old man,' he said.
'We don't waste money on papers.'
'Here, you can borrow my iPad.'
I can tell you, that f##kin fly never knew what hit it.
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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02-03-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,842 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,612
Liked 6,578 Times in 4,356 Posts
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Apparently WI- FI laptops can damage your sp3rm... In my experience, not as ********in much as sp3rm can damage your WI-FI LAPTOP !!
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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02-03-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,842 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,612
Liked 6,578 Times in 4,356 Posts
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Wife : Honey before we got
married , you used to give me gifts
and expensive jewelery.
Husband : Yes...so ?
Wife : How come you don't do it
anymore ?
Husband : Have you ever seen a
fisherman give worms to the fish
after catching it? 
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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02-03-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,842 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,612
Liked 6,578 Times in 4,356 Posts
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A maid asked for a pay increase. The wife was very upset about this and asked: "Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?"
Maria: "Well Senora, there are three reasons I want an increase. The first is that I iron better than you."
Wife: "Who said you iron better than I?"
Maria: "Your husband said so."
Wife: "Oh."
Maria: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you."
Wife: "Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than I?"
Maria: "Your husband did."
Wife: "Oh."
Maria: "The third reason is that I am a better lover than you."
Wife (really furious now): "Did my husband say that as well?"
Maria: "No Senora, the gardener did."
SHE GOT THE RAISE
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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02-03-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,842 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,612
Liked 6,578 Times in 4,356 Posts
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Got a case for my iPhone even though the screen is already cracked. So basically it's like putting a condom on my kid's head.
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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03-03-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,842 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,612
Liked 6,578 Times in 4,356 Posts
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The lawyer says to the wealthy art collector tycoon: "I have some good news and, I have some bad news”.
The tycoon replies: "I’ve had an awful day, let's hear the good news first”.
The lawyer says: “Your wife invested £5,000 in two pictures today that she figures are worth a minimum of £2 million”.
The tycoon replies enthusiastically: “Well done, very good news indeed! You've just made my day; now what’s the bad news?”
The lawyer answers: “The pictures are of you in bed with your secretary!!..
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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