How tuff are Aussie blokes?

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A riddle for the day

Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.

Michael J. Fox has a small one.

Madonna doesn't have one.

The Pope has one but doesn't use it.

Clinton uses his all the time.

Mickey Mouse has an unusual one.

Liberace never used his on women.

Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his.

Cher claims that she took on 3.

We never saw Lucy use Desi's.

What is it? Answer below! (this is pretty good )

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The answer is: "A Last Name."

Sorry Folks...No Dirty Joke Here

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A girl checks her weight.... = 58kg

She then removes her sandal = 56kg..

Then removes her hand bag = 54kg...

Takes off her heavy scarf and now she is 53kg...

But then her coins finishes..

A boy from behind said.

" YOU CARRY ON...I HAVE COINS”

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One night a guy takes his girlfriend home.
They are about to kiss each other goodnight, but the guy is feeling a little horny.
With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her “Darling, would you give me a blow job?”
Horrified, she replies “Are you mad? My parents will see us!”
Him: “Oh come on! Who’s gonna see us at this hour?”
Her: “No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?”
Him: “Oh come on, there’s nobody around, they’re all sleeping!”
Her: “No way. It’s just too risky!”
Him (horny as hell): “Oh please, please, I love you so much!”
Her: “No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can’t!”
Him: “Oh yes you can. Please?”
Her: “No, no. I just can’t”
Him: “I beg you… ”
Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl’s sister shows up in her pyjamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says:
“Dad says to go ahead and give him a blow job. Or I can do it. Or if need be, he’ll come down himself and do it. But for god sake tell him to take his hand off the intercom!!..

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A farmer was sitting on his porch one day when a young man drives in and comes to the door.

"Sir, I was driving by and noticed you had a lot of milkweed in your pasture. Would you mind if I went out and got some milk?"

"You don't get milk from milkweed!" the farmer replied.

"Oh yes" said the young man "I have a degree in Agriculture from Texas A&M, I know all about it".

"Well, help yourself" said the farmer.

He soon saw the young man coming back to his car with two buckets full of milk.

The next day the farmer was again sitting on his porch when the same young man drove up. "Sir, yesterday when I was getting milk, I noticed you had some honeysuckle vine on the fence row. I wondered if you would mind if I got some honey?"

"You don't get honey from honeysuckle!" said the farmer.

Again, the young man explained about his degree from A&M, so the farmer agreed to let him collect some honey. Soon the young man came back to his car with two buckets full of honey.

The next day the same young man drove up to the farmer's house. "Sir, yesterday when I was getting the honey, I noticed you had some pussy willow trees down by the creek".

The farmer said "Let me get my shoes and I'll go with you!

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A bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"

"Okay, sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is put the prisoner in the prison."

And they made love for the first time and the husband was smiling with satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."

Turning on his side, he smiles and says, "Then we will have to re-imprison him."

After the second time, the bride says, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

The husband rises to the occasion and they made love again.

The bride again says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again," to which the husband yelled,

"Hey, it's not a life sentence!!!

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My wife said that she's going to leave me.
But before she does, she is going to make sure that my bank balance is $0.
That's nice of her, paying off my overdraft.

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A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:

Cheese Sandwich: - $1.50.

Chicken Sandwich: - $2.50.

Hand Job: - $10.00.

Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men.

"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?"

"I was wondering", whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?"

"Yes", she purrs, "indeed I am"

The man replies "Well wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich!