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  #722  
Old 31-01-2013
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Very True Layback, very very true
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  #723  
Old 02-02-2013
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A redneck went to the hospital, as his wife was having a baby.


Upon arriving, he sat down as the nurse said to him, “Congratulations, your wife has had quins, five big baby boys."

The redneck said, "I'm not surprised. I have a penis on me like a chimney."

The nurse replied, "You might want to consider getting it cleaned. They’re all black."
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  #724  
Old 02-02-2013
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In response to E-Mails about my dog.....

Please be advised, I am sick and tired of answering questions about my dog,
who mauled six people wearing Gillard tee shirts, four wearing Labor tee shirts,
two Greens, nine teenagers with pants hanging past their cracks,
three flag burners, and a Pakistani taxi driver.


FOR THE LAST TIME... THE DOG IS NOT FOR SALE !! !



I'M TRYING TO TALK HIM INTO QUITTING SMOKING,
BUT HE SAYS IT HELPS GET THE BAD TASTE OUT OF HIS MOUTH !!!???
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  #725  
Old 04-02-2013
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Dustbowl  Dustbowl is offline
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Hahahaha love it!
And yes, it is a bit sticky
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  #726  
Old 05-02-2013
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A man walks into a bar with his pet crocodile, the bartender screams and demands he get the man eating creature out of there! The man tries to calm the bartender down and says he is very well trained to prove it the man whipped out his cock... and put it in the crocodile's mouth, then he hit the crocodile over the head with a rake and after a few good smacks he pulls it out and shows the bar tender,"Look, no marks."The bartender is still unsure so the man asks..."Would anyone else like to try?"The bar is quiet and a few minutes later a blonde in the corner stands up and says..."I will but don't smack me so hard on the head with the faaarkin rake!"
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  #727  
Old 06-02-2013
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Dont know if I have posted this before

A 65-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room at a medical clinic and approached the desk.

The Receptionist asked, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?'

'There's something wrong with my willy', he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said, 'You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that.'

'Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,' he said.

The Receptionist replied; 'Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.'

The man replied, 'You shouldn't be asking people questions in a roomful of strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone.' The man walked out, waited several minutes, and then re-entered.

The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, 'Yes??'

'There's something wrong with my ear,' he stated.

The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice.. 'And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?'

'I can't pee out of it,' he replied.

The waiting room erupted in laughter...
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  #728  
Old 06-02-2013
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Default Subject: Income Tax Statement...and source of income

Hello, is this Miss Singleton? - Yes, it is.
Miss Singleton, this is John Smith, your tax accountant. I must inform you that your tax statement was rejected by the ATO...(Australian Tax Office.) They say that your salary and your possessions are Incompatible......Your salary as a secretary is too low for you to be able to afford a luxury apartment, a new Mercedes-Benz, expensive clothing, jewellery, vacations in Europe, etc.
Oh, and what can I do about it?
Well, let's do the following: Send me a recent copy of your principal source of income, and I'll see what I can do with it at the ATO.
Very well Mr Smith. I am making a photocopy of it now, and I will fax it to you shortly.
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