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07-03-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,830 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,607
Liked 6,573 Times in 4,353 Posts
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Paddy, the Irish labourer goes to his doctor, "I'm constipated." he says. The doctor examines him for a few minutes and says, "Lean over the table." After he does so, the doctor whacks him on his arse with a baseball bat. A loud "CRACK!" is heard, and the doctor sends Paddy to the toilet. After coming out of the toilet, Paddy says, "I feel great! What should I do to prevent constipation in the future?" The doctor says, "Stop wiping your arse with cement bags..
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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07-03-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,830 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,607
Liked 6,573 Times in 4,353 Posts
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Paddy:- "Look at that flock of cows!"
Murphy:- "Herd of cows, you daft ********!"
Paddy:- "Of course I've heard of cows, there's a f##king flock of them over there!!..
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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07-03-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,830 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,607
Liked 6,573 Times in 4,353 Posts
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A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts" She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer. When he finished it, he said, "Quick, bring me another beer. It's gonna start." This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer. When it was gone, he said, "Quick, another beer before it starts." "That's it!" She blows her top, "You bastard! You waltz in here, flop your fat ass down, don't even say hello to me and then expect me to run around like your slave. Don't you realize that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long?" The husband sighed. "Oh shit, it started!”
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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07-03-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,830 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,607
Liked 6,573 Times in 4,353 Posts
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A little old lady thought one day she wanted to join a biker club. So she finds club house and knocks on the door. A big burly biker answers and asked "what do you want". She replies "I'd like to join your gang". So just for amusement he proceeded to ask this lil old lady a few questions... Biker-"Do you have a bike". She points across the street "That dragon fire red hog over there, that's mine". He grins and asked "Do you drink or smoke?" Lady-"I drink a sixer a night and smoke a joint thursdays at the pool hall". Biker's thinking, wow this is a bad ass granny. Then he asked, "have you ever been picked up by the fuzz"? She's thinking a bit and said "no but I'v been whipped around by the nipples a time or two".
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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07-03-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,830 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,607
Liked 6,573 Times in 4,353 Posts
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Birdwatching: ...........
The only way to shout thrush, cock, swallow, great tits in public and be able to put a tick in a box!!..
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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08-03-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,830 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,607
Liked 6,573 Times in 4,353 Posts
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BREAKING NEWS.....63 Pakistanis died in London this morning.It wasn't a terrorist attack,a bunk bed collapsed...The police are blaming AL-IKEA.......
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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08-03-2015
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,830 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,607
Liked 6,573 Times in 4,353 Posts
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I finally worked out why Muslims avoid alcohol.
They are banned from having a bacon sandwich to cure the hangover.
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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