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Old 08-09-2017
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When women get to a certain age they start accumulating cats.
This is known as the many paws! 😁😁
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  #7858  
Old 08-09-2017
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"It's times like these I wish we lived abroad," I said to my wife, staring out of the front window.
"Yeah, the weathers shit isn't it?" She replied.
"Not the weather," I said. "Your mother's coming up the fucking drive."
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  #7859  
Old 08-09-2017
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After waiting ages for a reply, I've finally got a letter from the Royal Mail confirming my job application has been successful.
I start last Monday..
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  #7860  
Old 08-09-2017
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My parents have admitted to me that the night I was conceived they were both really drunk on weak Aussie beer.
It's never nice finding out you're a Fosters child!
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  #7861  
Old 09-09-2017
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I need advice! I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. You know, just the usual signs: The phone rings and when I answer, the caller hangs up. Plus, she goes out with the girls a lot. I usually try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home, but I always fall asleep. Anyway, last night about midnight, I woke up and she was not home. So, I hid in the garage, behind my boat and waited for her. When she came home, she got out of someone's car, buttoning her blouse. Then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment, while crouching behind my boat, that I noticed a hairline crack in the outboard motor mounting bracket. Is that something I can weld, or do I need to replace the whole bracket??? Plz any help would be appreciated i plan to go fishing this weekend!!
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Old 09-09-2017
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Camilla Parker-Bowles has released a Press Statement to say :-
How delighted she is at the News of another Royal Baby.
And apparently,
That's straight from the Horse's Mouth.
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Old 09-09-2017
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The missus keeps dropping hints about a Sexy Gift she wants for her Birthday.
"It begins with 'D' and ends in 'O' .. and it fits snugly in there", she winked as she pointed suggestively at her Crotch.
Seriously, I said..
"Where am I gonna find a fucking Didgeridoo, here in London"..???
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  #7864  
Old 10-09-2017
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I saw my ex-girlfriend in town earlier and we had a really nice chat.
As we said bye to one another I gave her a hug and she smiled.
"You've changed," she said, "You seem so much more mature now."
I'd love to see her face when she finds the "I suck cock" note I stuck on her back.
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