Dont listen to them, the XJ is too square to look good with bling, your current plan of 4" and 33's sounds good but it'll need a lot of cutting to get them to fit AND flex. But I know that's not something that'll bother you
Personally I think an XJ on 31's or 32's is a better allround Jeep if your looking at daily driver dutys and touring as well as some weekend fun. 33's do look
though.
Cheers
Steve