How tuff are Aussie blokes?

[layback40]

A Chinese man called a prostitute service and asked for their most talented & energetic girl.
The girl finally got to his home and they started having sex.
Once he was done, he jumped off the bed, ran to the window, took a deep breath, went under the bed & came out the other side and started having sex with the girl again.
After he had finished the 2nd time, he again jumped off the bed, ran to the window, went under the bed & came out the other side and started again..
He did this 8 more times!
The girl was impressed by his stamina.
After they finished the 10th time, she decided to try it herself.
So, she jumped off the bed, ran to the window, took a deep breath, went under the bed & saw 9 more Chinese men..

[WhiteMeat]

Originally Posted by layback40

A class 5 teacher asked her students to make rhymes with their names;
Sam:
My name is Sam,
When I grow up to be a man,
I want to go to Russia and Japan,
If I can, If I can, If I can
Candy:
My name is Candy,
When I grow up to be a lady,
I want to have a baby
If I can, if I can, if I can
Dan:
My name is Dan.
When I grow up to be a man,
To hell with Russia and Japan
I m gonna help Candy with her plan
I know I can, I know I can, I know I can!!..

HAHA!

Hmmmm... lol Where's a Candy lol

[layback40]

A class was given a homework assignment to find out something
exciting and relate it to the class the next day.
When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little
boy the teacher called on walked up to the front of the class. He
picked up a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard
and sat back down.
Puzzled, the teacher asked him what it was.
"It's a 'period'," he replied.
"I can see that," said the teacher, "but what is so exciting about a 'period'?"
"Darned if I know," said the boy,
"but yesterday my sister was missing one,
Mum fainted,
Dad had a heart attack
and the boy next door joined the Navy!!..

[layback40]

Fred and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year. Every year Fred would say, "Edna, I'd like to ride in that there airplane."
And every year Edna would say, "I know Fred, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."
One year Fred and Edna went to the fair and Fred said, "Edna,
I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance." Edna replied, "Fred that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."
The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you, but if you say one word it's ten dollars."
Fred and Edna agreed and up they go. The pilot does all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word is heard. He does all his tricks over again, but still not a word.
They land and the pilot turns to Fred, "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't."
Fred replied, "Well, I was going to say something when Edna fell out of the plane, but ten dollars is ten dollars."

[layback40]

When Ralph first noticed that his penis was growing larger and staying erect longer, he was delighted, as was his wife.
But after several weeks, his penis had grown to nearly twenty inches.
Ralph became quite concerned.
He was having problems dressing, and even walking. So he and his wife went to see a prominent urologist.
After an initial examination, the doctor explained to the couple that, though rare, Ralph's condition could be fixed through corrective surgery.
"How long will Ralph be on crutches?" the wife asked anxiously.
"Crutches? Why would he need crutches?" responded the surprised doctor.
"Well," said the wife coldly, "you're gonna lengthen his legs, aren't you?..

[layback40]

My Gran said to me, "Young men of today just aren't as polite and
charming as they were when I was young."
I had to explain, "That's because they aren't trying to f##k you
now."

[layback40]

An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his help in reviving her husband’s libido.
‘What about trying Viagra?’, asked the doctor.
“Not a chance,” she said. “He won’t even take an aspirin.”
“Not a problem,” replied the doctor. “Give him an ‘Irish Viagra. It’s when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won’t even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went.”
It wasn’t a week later that she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to progress.
The poor dear exclaimed, “Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T’was horrid! Just terrible, doctor!”
“Really? What happened?” asked the doctor.
“Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee, and the effect was almost immediate. He jumped straight up, with a twinkle in his eye, and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he sent the cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters, and took me then and there passionately on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!”
“Why so terrible?” asked the doctor. “Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn’t good?”
“Twas the best sex I’ve had in 25 years! But sure as I’m sittin’ here, I’ll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again!”