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11-09-2017
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,823 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,603
Liked 6,569 Times in 4,351 Posts
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My girlfriend bought a home waxing kit the other day. She asked me if she should just do the sides or leave a strip down the middle. I said I would prefer it if she didn't have a moustache at all.
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98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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11-09-2017
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,823 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,603
Liked 6,569 Times in 4,351 Posts
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A large woman wearing a sleeveless sun dress walked into a pub in England. She raised her right arm revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?
The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down at the end of the bar, a bleary-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed, "Give the ballerina a drink!
The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down. She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them revealing the same hairy armpit and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?
Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and said, "Give the ballerina another drink!"
The bartender approached the little drunk and said, "I say, old chap, it's none of my business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her 'the ballerina' ?"
The drunk replied, "Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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11-09-2017
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,823 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,603
Liked 6,569 Times in 4,351 Posts
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My neighbour is always having a dig about my weight.
Today he said "How come your such a fat bastard?".
I said "Because every time i fuck your wife, she gives me a chocolate biscuit."
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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12-09-2017
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,823 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,603
Liked 6,569 Times in 4,351 Posts
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One day in the future, Barack Obama has a heart-attack and dies.
He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I
have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you
what I'm going to do. I've got a couple of folks here who weren't quite as
bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll
even let YOU decide who leaves."
Obama thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the door to the
first room.
In it was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water. Ted kept diving in, and
surfacing, empty handed. Over, and over, and over he dived in and surfaced
with nothing. Such was his fate in hell.
"No," Obama said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer, and I don't
think I could do that all day long."
The devil led him to the door of the next room.
In it was Al Gore with a sledge-hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did
was swing that hammer, time after time after time.
"No, this is no good; I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in
constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented Obama.
The devil opened a third door. Through it, Obama saw Bill Clinton, lying on
the bed, his arms tied over his head, and his legs restrained in a
spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does
best.
Obama looked at this in shocked disbelief, and finally said, "Yeah man, I
can handle this."
The devil smiled and said...........
"OK, Monica, you're free to go."
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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12-09-2017
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,823 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,603
Liked 6,569 Times in 4,351 Posts
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I wonder if any Policeman has ever managed to keep a straight face while telling a woman she has the right to remain silent.
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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12-09-2017
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Grumpy Old XJ Dsl Owner
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Victoria
Posts: 13,823 What Jeep do I drive?: XJ
Likes: 4,603
Liked 6,569 Times in 4,351 Posts
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India Alpha Mike Bravo Oscar Romeo Echo Delta... Charlie Alpha November Yankee Oscar Uniform Tango Echo Lima Lima?😂
__________________
98&01XJVMs,06&07KJCRD's,No longer question authority,I annoy it.More effect,less effort.10000Club
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12-09-2017
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MonsterMoose
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Noosa QLD.
Age: 58
Posts: 7,940 What Jeep do I drive?: WK2
Likes: 1,432
Liked 809 Times in 466 Posts
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Quote:
Originally Posted by layback40
India Alpha Mike Bravo Oscar Romeo Echo Delta... Charlie Alpha November Yankee Oscar Uniform Tango Echo Lima Lima?[emoji23]
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Yes...
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
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Cheers, Dave :)
2010 JK, then a 2015 KL Trailhawk, now a 2017 GC Trailhawk!
Over 5000 Club
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